Have you ever felt that your existence wasn't real? That the "self" that you created in everyone's memories was a fake; a lie. When you think about it the fake smile you force yourself to make is part of who you wish you were; it's a smile that you can only create by decieving and lying. In front of everyone you know you act as an overly happy and excited girl but underneath all of that is hatred, sadness, jealousy, guilt, and countless dark feelings. You don't want to be that way, so you hurt yourself by feigning happiness. Inside, you wish to trick yourself into believing you're happy, but your mind isn't fooled; deep down your heart aches because it knows the dark truth.

Along with all of those feelings is the feeling of being suffocated. Your burdens weigh down on you so much that it hurts too much to even breathe, and you ask yourself "Is it even worth it anymore?" You try to ignore the piercing pain shoots through your entire body everytime your heart beats, but you know it's pointless. Everyday becomes a battle to survive as you slowly drown while everybody watches it happen. All they want is to help themselves; only some people actually want to help you, but they don't know how. In the end, everyone watches from afar.

The people around you don't notice that you are sinking into an inescapable nightmare that shrouds you in darkness. And in that darkness you are rendered breathless by the prisoning walls that captivate you in your ocean of sorrow. In this ocean you made for yourself you sink; unable to return to the "self" you so badly wanted to be for your friends, family, and even for yourself.


The dream you made, the fake happiness, ends up shattering the fragile remains of you until there is nothing more of that you; the person you were as a whole. You're mind can no longer bear all of the weight that it's holding and breaks. In the great fight to escape all of the madness your heart, your feelings, and your emotions crack and shatter as if they were made of glass; just like your mind until you aren't one you. Now, there are two people who make up "you". Sadly, the tragedy does not end with you merely being split in half, and the pain keeps slicing away at each of yourselves; your sanity and your insanity. Or if you'd prefer your hopeful side and your depressed side. And at the end of it all the only thing that goes through your head is "I want to escape."

Have you suffered this pain? That's what it feels to be depressed; at the very least it's my way of explaining it. So take a moment to think about it...aren't you being a bit ignorant for saying you're depressed because you lost a pencil, or you tripped on a rock? Well, some people aren't as lucky as you who can freely throw around that word as if it's nothing; there are people who live it. Tell me, are you still depressed?