Imagine this: You just had a rough day at school, but you try to cover it by putting on a smile. A fake smile. Now-a-days, that’s all you ever been doing; smiling. There is no one you can talk or share your feelings with, no one who truly cares from the bottom of their heart. Self-harming, loneliness, depression, fitting in, anxiety, bullying, broken homes, what’s next? To you it doesn’t matter anymore you just want to end it all. Pills, knives, jumping off of a bridge, drowning, what’s next? There are infinite possibilities you just have to choose one. You want to escape it all, you just want to be happy. But what even is happiness? Does it even exist? Cut. Another one. Will this make the demons in your head disappear? As the hours troll by, you begin to wonder if this is how it will feel like if you keep going on. You wonder if you leave will anybody care, will anybody take notice? But at the moment you just want it all to go away, possibly forever. Have you ever had suicidal thoughts like this? Have you ever felt unbearable pain, physical and emotional? Yes? Then you are a prisoner to suicidal thoughts. I personally think getting rid of bad habits will help put you in the right direction to a better future.

One reason I think terminating all negativity in your life is the best way because it escapes the thoughts that imprison you. Let’s face it suicidal thoughts are inevitable. They can consume your mind and cloud your judgement. You can’t tell right from wrong because at that point you just stop caring. Anybody can stop caring even at the age of nine. Yes, there are young souls in the world who feel that the future is bleak. Most nine year olds would be in second or third grade. You wouldn’t think a poor innocent child would consider something so horrible, right? Well think again. Studies have shown that 40% of students try their first attempt in middle and/or elementary school, so that would be 1 of 9 children attempting suicide before high school (“healthland,” 2011). I have taken a poll in my class of 25 students, and my results are anything but promising. 11 out of 25 students have thought of suicide, and 6 have actually attempted it. They may be low numbers but they are still astonishing. Doesn’t that break your heart? What would you do if you found out someone you know is thinking about suicide? You would have to take immediate action because everybody’s life is worth saving, every last one.

Listen to me carefully, I have had numerous thoughts of suicide in the past, and I am here to show you what signs to look for so you don’t go down the wrong path like I did.

Suicidal thoughts have a way of creeping in, and these are the signs. “Cyber-bullying, teasing, feeling like the world is against you.” -Joy Tagura. “Personal problems, broken homes, lost hope, feeling like a burden, questioning your existence.” -Jilleona Cruz. Believe it or not, but all of the things said from both of my peers can eventually lead to suicide. Other signs could be distributing articles of personal or monetary value, obtaining a weapon, writing a suicide note, or depression. Depression is the leading cause in most suicides. My data proves that sufferers change sleep schedules, change in weight or appetite, withdraw from family and friends, feel worthless, feel guilt, feel the need to die (“PsychCentral”). Think about it. With every passing moment an individual is slowly tearing themselves down, thinking of suicide; and eventually leading to suicide itself. The thought process is actually the hardest. You have to know when and where you are going to do it, and if this is the last and final option that will lead you to the happiness you so longingly crave for. Other negative effects of suicidal ideation can lead to addiction or risky behavior. Afterwards, it can then lead to the five stages of grief - anger, denial, bargaining, depression, and acceptance (“North Tampa Behavioral Health,” 2016). These effects may seem like nothing positive can come out of this, but trust me that is what I am here for. To show you that there is a light at the end of that dark tunnel.

Coping. It is easier said than done, am I right? You have to be strong. But anybody who can get past suicidal thoughts is strong. They are the strongest. Getting over something, like suicide, is not easy. There are many barriers you have to get past along the way. Others would say that this is just to get attention and I see where this might be an issue, but that is completely wrong. People recovering from something like this need someone to support them through everything. Because no one likes to be alone. Another thing a person can do is to identify triggers and eliminate negative habits that might persuade you into making a bad choice. You can also exercise or create a hobby (“Suicide Help,” 2016). It is important that everybody is healthy physically and emotionally. Now think of all the new opportunities that await you. Think of all the positive outcomes. You see there is a light at the end of that tunnel, the only thing that was stopping you from getting there was yourself.

In conclusion, suicidal thoughts can affect us at any time, regardless of our age. It can make us change our actions and make us do the wrong choices. Your physical and mental state will slowly get damaged, unless you do something to improve it. Coping is the best way to release yourself from suicidal ideation. Don’t let yourself be a prisoner to your own thoughts, release your demons and fly free.