LImagine this: You are a teenager. You never really had any luck interacting with other people and other students in your classes don’t seem to be interested in you outside of group work. It’s not enjoyable to see others go about their daily life who have people that they can talk with and share things with and all the other kinds of platonic intimacy that you don’t have. In fact it hurts you a little. What’s wrong with you? You feel far away, never really quite being there. You are here though, alone. Talking with the people you have worked with is an option, but you don’t exactly feel like the friendship is valued.  You still feel far away. It shouldn’t hurt, you do still have conversations. It hurts feeling like you don’t belong, but it hurts being with the people who make you feel like you don’t belong. With them, or anyone else really. You don’t belong. You don’t exist. You will never have the kinds of relationships other people have. You are worthless. Is it really going to be alright? Is it even worth trying anymore, with your history of conversations and relationships? How can you even talk to anyone if you feel so worthless? What can you do now? This is just an example of how people with loneliness feel. If you feel that you have loneliness and that you need help. If you feel that this scenario has struck a familiarity within you, then I have the solution for you! I have a way! Taking it slow and being in any kind of communities or groups can help with the loneliness in yours or anyones life.

A reason I think that taking it slow is the best way to deal with loneliness is that loneliness is the sadness because one has no company or friends, (“Google” 2016) right? Taking it slow helps you set standards for your problem. We need to realize, this problem can’t be fixed in a night. Why should we have to rush ourselves? Take as much time as you need in your goal. There are many people out there! If feel like you didn’t do well, then you can always move on and see how you do there. One small step is still a step, it still counts. Currently, there are around 7 billion people in the world (“World-o-meters” 2016)! Yes, you can’t actually talk to everyone really. There are people across the world and maybe they don’t have the internet or resources to talk to you. Maybe you don’t really want to go travel anywhere because you don’t have any real need or funds to go out into the world and it’s many places. That’s fine! Like I stated before, there are 7 billion people out there. That’s still a lot of people. There shouldn’t be any rush. There’s many people near where you live and many more places to find more. Understand that not every person is someone that you can be friends with. This will give you somewhere to start from and when you don’t succeed, you can still go on. Who knows when you’ll find a person or people that will be your buddies? If you want to find people with the same or different interests as you, it would be a good idea to go and look for communities to be in.

A reason I think using communities is the best way to deal with loneliness is that, as we confirmed before, loneliness is the feeling of having no company or friends right? Not having someone to talk to? Being in any kind of community and just grow with them fixes all of those previous points! If you feel that you don’t necessarily need any close friendships, that’s fine. Just having a sense that you belong somewhere is enough. A community can provide both of that. Getting into a group/community is pretty easy, if you look into it enough. Joining a club or getting into something extra at school is a doable goal. If you don’t want to be with people that you know, then taking classes or being in things like a book club is an option too. Be a part of the community! When going somewhere, go somewhere where you don’t have any kind of pressure to talk with anyone and where it’s fine if you don’t talk straight away (“Mind: For Better Mental Health” 2013). For example, a cafe or a sports event. No pressure and plus, there’s a topic that you converse about. Acute loneliness is what you have when you go through a period of unadjustment when, in your life, a important person dies or move somewhere new (“Everyday Health” 2012). Being in communities helps you with this as you move on or adjust with the people around you. Places like these provide positive experiences for you. It makes you feel better that you can talk and have this kinds of interactions with people.  Communities give us opportunities to bond with others about similar interests; it can even lead to solid friendships. However, some people would think otherwise about what we are trying to treat.

People who disagree with me would say that loneliness is something silly, something not worth treating, something that they feel is just something people should just suck it up and move on.  I’m sure you mean well and that you think your idea is right, but I’m here to prove you wrong. In the U.S, 60 million people are affected by loneliness. Everyone can be loneliness at some point in their lives, but chronic loneliness, which exists despite existing relationships, is serious (“Everyday Health” 2015). Looking back at the statistics, that would be 18%! Out of all 318.9 million people in the United States. That’s a large number. Let’s move on to how loneliness can affect people. The effects of loneliness are just as real as how hunger or pain would be, spoken by University of Chicago social neuroscientist John Cacioppo. Studies have proved that, with chronic loneliness, the risk for early death is increased by 45% and developing dementia increases by 64%. Those are some real risks there, huh? There’s more than just that though. Loneliness can harm the cognitive ability, risk the immune system to threats, and chances of getting vascular, inflammatory, and heart disease increase (“Everyday Health” 2015). Also, people with stronger family and/or friend ties have a 50% less chance of dying, than those with little or no connections. According to a study presented at Alzheimer’s Association International Conference, loneliness is paired with cognitive decline in old people. This ties in well with another bit of information I have. Brigham and Women’s Hospital and Harvard Medical School researchers confirm that lonely people experience cognitive decline at a calculated roughly rate of 20% faster than those who are not lonely. Now, does that sound something silly to you? Something that, wait, oh so possibly can’t do nothing? As we shown here, loneliness can do some critical things to your health and that’s why it needs to be treated. It’s true, it is, as they say, “all in your head”. The head has the brain inside. The brain is important, but it can get sick too. Why should we not give it the attention and care it needs?

To conclude, being comfortable on your mission to get company and getting into communities is a surefire way to treat loneliness. A way taking it slow helps you is that it gives you realistic standards about gaining friends, one failed little thing can’t bring you down! Being in communities gives some feeling you belong, that feeling isn’t something you can replace. Heck, you may get a friend or two! Loneliness is not something to feel stupid about and your feelings are valid. It can affect you so much. Remember, you might feel like there’s no one who cares or feels for you. Think of this though. There’s so much people out there. There must be someone out there who cares. I care. You deserve to be cared about, okay?