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The pain of not knowing
She let go of me she did not want me. Why?????? How could somebody not want thier own child? Easy they did not have the money the time or the resources to take care of child. I was two years old when I was adopted. My father was never told about my birth or possible he did not even care that I was his child. I was born in Santiago Chile. Close to the beutiful mountians. but throut my life I am wanted to go back and visit to see if I could track down any part of my family. But over the past two years there has been a pain whenever I see my older sister and brother who are not related to bond with their own dad and mother. Nobody knows how hard it is to not be able to have a real connection to the people in your own family. Something is missing but then I always think but my real mom hadnt wanted me so why should I want her she does not make contact with me so why should I care. I have no hope in findging her and I have to give up. it's time to move on from a past that will never become the future people live through hardships everyday but if you don't look back you will keep running from it. just move, its the best thing to do. Maybe someday I will find my real mom but if I don't then I will just have to get over it.
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If you dream it, it could happen, if you talk about it, it gets closer, if you shout about it, you letting loose, but if you do something about it you have succesced.