I was rushing around trying to get ready, and was pullingmy hair back in a ponytail when I heard a honk. I knew it was Nate to pick me up.Nate and I were really close friends; we told each other everything, even ourdeepest secrets. I rushed to the door. Little did I know that I would come homewith an entirely different outlook on life. No good-bye, or "I loveyou" to my mom and dad; I was too consumed with the thought of getting outof my house.

We drove to my friend's house to pick up others. Nate and Iwaited outside. When they finally came to the door, they waved for me to comeinside. We went to Cheri's bedroom, and she pulled a bottle of whiskey from underher bed. We passed it around, and I took a drink. I started to feel the alcoholget to me as I continued to drink. I knew it was stupid, but I did itanyway.

We walked to Nate's car with the bottle in hand. All of thisdrinking seemed to take me away from reality and into a state of happiness, and Ithink that's why I continued to drink. When I got into the car with the others,Nate could smell the alcohol. I don't think he liked the idea of us drinking inhis car. We ended up driving around for most of the night. The last thing Iremember was going to a gas station downtown.

I hear lots of stories aboutwhat we did that night, but I can't remember any of it. What I do recall ispeople saying I needed to go to the hospital. I remember being frustrated becauseI couldn't stand the thought of that. I kept wanting to tell everyone"No," but I couldn't make myself say it. Finally Nate decided that hehad no choice. I no longer could keep my eyes open, and was getting worse by theminute.

Suddenly, everything was rushing around me, and I heard peopleyelling and running around. It was like I was deaf and hearing for the firsttime. Everything was happening at once. My whole body was convulsing. I've neverfelt so helpless. I started to cry and turned my head. I saw my dad, watching mehelplessly. I could see in his eyes that he wished he could do something ... buthe couldn't.

I had every nurse and doctor in my room that night. I hadfriends coming to see me at 3 o'clock in the morning. I was so close to death Icould see it ... and that's what changed me. I didn't know it was possible to bethat frightened. That night as I sat there in that hospital bed, I re-thought mylife.

I lost a lot of things that night, including the respect of thepeople I love most. But while I lost others' respect, I gained respect formyself. I hope no one is as stupid as I was that night. Everyone deserves morethan that. The thing I am most grateful for is what I didn't lose that night - mylife. .