What to do at your first concert /  PROPER concert etiquette

If you don’t know what to do and how to act at your first concert, listen to this. Follow every single rule and you WILL be the main act of the show, you will be an attention grabbing and seeking person there, the most flamboyant, people will say that you were the one who flew the mother plane OUT OF Pennserveania and truly saved the day. You will be no where near iconic, on an entirely different level, several hundred floors above you will be iconic . You will be the one to appropriate culture, putting you on different headlines.

The first thing you need to do if you want to have proper Concert etiquette, ignore the blue words that say concert etiquette, that 'guide' is for 50 year old dads at an Olivia Rodrigo concert and you're not that.
 

You need to have an obnoxious outfit. You need to wear an outfit that is so bright and so complex that you are basically recreating the time when Lady Gaga changed her outfit multiple times on the met gala stairs and you need 5 other people to help you get to your seat - not that Lady Gaga is obnoxious, its just that you are.
 

Speaking of obnoxious, you need to tell everyone that you see ever, ever, ever for the rest of your life, that this is your first ever concert, I forgot to do this and no one asked me how the concert went, so sad.
 

If you're not going to pick a fight at a concert, are you even at the concert? PLEASE argue with the day 1 fans, snap at them , give them attitude, put your hands on them, do whatever it takes to cause a commotion. Do whatever it takes to get kicked out of the venue before the opener even gets on.
 

If you don’t get kicked out of the venue before the opener gets on, consider yourself to have failed at the concert experience but one thing you ABSOULUTELY must do (if you're still in the venue) is record yourself with the flash on in your back camera, blinding the people behind you. It doesn’t matter how much you paid for those tickets, you came there to get the people behind you good lighting. You came to that concert, paid an obscene amount of money, just to take pictures of yourself. If you don’t want to record yourself, just stand there and take videos of the entire concert, that way when you forget what happened you can just watch some pretty lights flashing around and the quality will be as good as a microwave.
 

If you know every single song from that artists discography then what is even the point of going? Only go to a concert if you know 3 of their songs. For example, after you (a person who knows "Bad Guy", "Happier Than Ever", and "What Was I Made For") buys Billie Eilish concert tickets you absolutely deserve to go to her concert. You deserve to go see her more than the fans who have listened to her since "Ocean Eyes" was only on SoundCloud and "Don’t Smile At Me", you deserve those tickets more than the fans in Alaska who can't see her. You are the only one with a right to those tickets because you know her 3 most popular songs. You really only need to go to a concert for a chance to listen to the most popular songs and then complain as to why they didn’t play any more popular songs.
 

Hold up signs. If you are in the 300's or 200's levels how else would your favorite artist know that you support them. Hold up the largest sign you can make. TRUST me, they will see your sign all the way in the nosebleeds, after all, these artists aren't real people with no real feelings and they owe you something.
 

Spam your snapchat story. Or your Instagram story. Or both! When your friends wake up they want to see 80 different 5 second clips of you screaming. If you didn’t spam your story, did you even go to the concert?