“it’s ok I understand how you feel… alone in this world like no one could understand” all I could do was lay there in his arms listening to his voice tell me everything was ok and now that we were together finally just him and me I believed him, I trusted him, and most of all I loved him.




I year earlier


I always looked at him in a way I shouldn’t have. Knowing she was my friend I should have closed of my feelings. “Omg we had another fight” she whines walking on the bus. Sierra wasn’t one to admit when she hurt Jon but for some reason she could always place the blame on him. “What happened this time?” I casually asked. “Well so I hugged another guy while he was talking to me and he like freaked out” wow I thought.. Why wouldn’t he be mad? Then I saw him walking onto the bus he looked so sad I wanted to reach out grab him, hold him and tell him it was going to be ok but I couldn’t not now not ever. As he passed me I said hi and all he did was look. Why can’t you see she doesn’t love you? I wanted to scream out. Don’t you get it you’re just another pawn in her game….. “Tamara?” “Are you alright you look sad?” I looked at sierra I wanted to just tell her what I really thought about her but I couldn’t she was my only way of being around him so I smiled and said “yeah I’m great just stressing a little” Jon looked at me. It was almost as if he could read my mind and knew what I felt. I wish… the next day I rushed to the bus not knowing what to expect.. There they were laughing holding hands I wanted to cry but instead I shook it of and walked to the seat in front of them. “Hey” sierra smiled and said “hi” were the only words that could escape my mouth. How I felt for Jon was unreal. Never had I thought I would find some one so amazing so sweet so understanding…..it was 3 months later the first time I hear of them breaking up it happened on and of but this time I was hoping they were done for good. It wasn’t like she wasn’t a nice person but she didn’t treat him like she should have he was hers and that’s all that mattered. She wasn’t on the bus that day but he was. He look so upset and I tried cheering him up but I guess he didn’t feel like it the next day was different though he talked to me. I mean he talked to me all the time but it was like we had some kind of connection and for one second I had a new found hope. Then it was crushed here she came acting all high and mighty I hated her but he still didn’t she sat right next to him and he did the unthinkable he kissed her. I felt dead inside like nothing mattered nor would it ever. I cried myself to sleep that night and the next three nights after. When I finally got the courage to sit at the back of the bus again there they were happy as ever. I never understood how he kept taking her back. Living with everything she did to him it wasn’t right at least in my mind it wasn’t. “Hey are you ok?” I turned around this time it was Jon asking. What did I say how did I react? “Yeah, I’m great” “I doubt that” he muttered. Why was this happening I could swear he had some type of feeling for me so why couldn’t he show it? It was two days before school got out when he finally did. He was going away for the summer but all I cared about was the time we spent together. It was like we finally clicked. They had been broken up for awhile and I was hoping it would stay that way for good. It was like no stop magic for the next two days I was so happy I just kept waiting for him to ask me those six magical words but he never did. Saying goodbye to him was easier than I thought. As summer went on he was all I thought about. I had his email so one day out of the blue I just sent him one telling him everything. I knew he wouldn’t get it till he got back but I still felt like I had a shot.