When spring comes to an end and the weather gets hotter, two Guido’s and one Guidette migrate from their hometowns to their watering hole, the Jersey Shore. During the summer the Jersey Shore has a thriving Guido population. Both Guido’s and the one Guidette look for several things during the summer, and their days repetitive. Wake up, go to the beach, tan, take 5 hours getting ready, go to the club, and go to sleep.


There was the MIKE THE SITUATION, who cleverly calls himself that. His smile was cocky and conceited, and his religion is his appearance. He packed everything he owned, and changed his outfit several times before going out. He was a well kept man, from his waxed eyebrows, evenly tanned skin, perfectly spiked up hair, and chapstick on lips. He never missed an opportunity to reveal what he thought to be his masterpiece, his abs. His leisure time consisted of flexing, posing in the mirror, or taking off his shirt to show-off. At the clubs he demonstrated the most famous Guido dance move, the fist-pump.


Next PAULY D, also another very well-groomed man. His shoes perfectly white, his shirt crisp, and his hair flawless. His luggage consisted of more hair glue gel then clothing. Everyday he sculpted a porcupine/spiked helmet look by applying a gallon of hair glue to this front, top, sides, and rear of his head. His day consisted of what he called GTL. He went to the gym, tanned and then did laundry before he got ready for the clubs. He loved to DJ at his favorite club, Karma, at night playing his favorite house music. He was a ladies man; in fact, he had a different lady every night.


Also, there was SNOOKI, the most commonly known Guidette. The only beverages to her knowledge were ones that contained alcohol. Her cheap clothes of animal prints and sequins, all too little for her size. I wouldn’t say she was exactly skinny. You could know it was her just by the ludicrous noises she makes for no meticulous reason. She perfected what was known as the ‘poof’. A hairstyle that requires a whole bottle of hairspray, added a good four inches to her what could be considered dwarf height. Her face consisted of a good amount of orange powder and black eye makeup. She prowled out on the night looking for the biggest and the best Guidos she could find.