Imagine not knowing your true identity; where you came from, how you got your looks and features, or what your mom looked like. I know it may be hard to imagine, but that is what life is like for me because I am adopted. For many children, the truth about their adoption comes as a great surprise, but I have always known. My parents made me proud of this fact and celebrated my adoption day every year.

I am not ashamed of this, just confused. I am confused about my background, heredity, and mother. I suppose I can live without knowing my ancestors, but it is hard not knowing my mother. I often sit and wonder about her and at times I create a image of her life. Perhaps she is famous, rich, or very successful, but I realize that she is probably just an average woman. I also wonder why she gave me up. I know she was young, about twenty-one, and single, but didn't she love me enough to care for me and keep me? After all, I was her child. In my heart, I realize that she loved me enough to give me up: but sometimes I just get the feeling that I was rejected.

Despite this emotion, I feel love for her and from her. I understand the strong bond we share even though we have never met. I am connected to her in one of the closest ways possible. My mother gave me the gift of life and part of me is her. We are joined through blood. It is a extraordinary feeling to know that somewhere on this enormous planet there are people who share some of my genes; they are my natural family. Maybe someday I will meet them. I am sure I would love to see my mother and hope she eventually had other children (my brothers and sisters). I would also like to become friends with her and discover our similarities as well as our differences.

It would be a long, hard search because I know so little about her; it would be worth it. The only thing stopping me is rejection. What if she doesn't want to meet me? I would hate to be abandoned twice. For now, I will be content with my imaginary pictures and thoughts; but one never knows what the future holds.