Oh torry. I think she was just the silliest person little person I had ever met, even though we had just met a few months before. I am 10 but inside I feel as if I am 19, maybe even 20, waiting upon a year later when I can finally call myself ‘a true women’, legal to be able to drink. Sitting in my little corner on the side of the elementary school that I was recently enrolled in, I am numb to the world around me, and resentful of the life that I am currently living. I am 10 years old and I have the mind of a 20 year old who is planning a suicide that I will later blame on my sister for reasons that I would rather leave unsaid.

Oh torry, I think she is just about the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Oh torry, torry, torry, torry. I'm sure you didn’t know it, but you’re the reason I will be able to sit one day in a 10th grade creative writing class and be able to type on a laptop that is about to be outdated by constant updates from the Apple store.

Oh Torry, Torry, Torry, Torry. I thank you.

Here I am. Sitting alone and pertafied of the world around me, even though I sit safely under an overhead roof for the outside. My legs are crossed, Indian style, just like mrs. Carrier taught me. I am thinking back to the night before. She was there, I was there, and so many sounds, so many lights. Where was I, what was I doing there. Why did she bring me here? Why me? Why… me?

“Hey Vallerie” I heard but hadn’t looked up. Figured it was Valerie P., or C.

“Vall over her!” Didn’t move

“Vall.” A voice from above me boomed in a high pitch barely matured voice. I looked up at her and waited for a reason why she was so close to me.

“what are you doing over here silly? The swings are over there.” And she pointed to the swings. “I had Rikki save us 2 swings while I came over here and you. Come on” Grabbing my hand, she pulled me up from the depression I was in, and smiled.

This is the first smile I can remember. This is the first smile, to a million more created by the person who started it all.