Whole Again | Teen Ink

Whole Again

May 22, 2019
By Clarianne48 BRONZE, Cincinati, Ohio
Clarianne48 BRONZE, Cincinati, Ohio
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

As they pulled up the driveway, the couple was ecstatic. Their little bundle of joy was finally home.

Her fluffy old english sheep dog, Duncan would be one of her first friends, along with her Cat, Buckwheat.

In the blink of an eye, a yellow monster rolled around the corner and whisked her off to a magical place called school.

It wasn’t so bad as she had her wonderful teachers to help her along. Despite her shy tendencies, she had many sweet friends.

The second grade broke her heart as she moved away from her precious home.

The rest of the year was pretty miserable and the girls there weren’t very nice to her.

Luckily, the move didn’t suit the family anyway. Within a year they were in a different house. It was this house that truly became a home.

Once firmly established, she was finally able to rejoin her peers at Maddux. It surprised her how many had remembered the timid little Madeline she once was.

Old friends and new confidence came rushing into her life. This was the security she knew she needed.

She was always guided by a simple rule; be nice to everyone.

Again and again she was voted for class citizenship award.

She made good grades, and always did what she was told. She figured nobody could critic her if she aimed for perfection. For years it even seemed to work.

Her freshman year of high school was not the easiest. She began to grasp something that she had refused to accept before.

The fact that perfection is not achievable tore her apart inside. Everything she had ever worked for or lived by felt as if it had been ripped from her.

She didn’t feel good enough and something broke within her.

Dazed and numb to her pain, her self-hatred boiled over and spilled into frustrated tears. This happened again and again. It happened anytime and anywhere.

Her thoughts poisoned her and her eyes had lost their glow.

Her desk had developed a bare spot from the hundreds of tears that had worn away the paint.

She realized she needed more help than her parents could give her.

After a while, the denial period came to a close. The healing had finally begun.

Looking back she barely recognized the person she was at the start of the year.

Her heart felt whole again and she couldn’t have been happier.


The author's comments:

This past year has been full of growth. I feel as though I’ve really come into myself. Writing has enabled me to understand my feelings better. I don’t know what the future may hold but I’m learning to accept that fact too. I’m well on my way to discovering myself again. I can’t remember the last time I’ve felt this much contentment. I certainly don’t care any less, I just know what’s worth caring for. It took me a while to realize it but these growing pains haven’t left me weak, they’ve left me stronger. 


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