When I think back to this day, all I think is, how was I was so dependent? I didn't even make my own bed, letting my mom do this and many other things that I knew I was capable of doing just chose not to. I really wish this event hadn’t happened, but I’m glad it helped me mature and become more independent. 

   My mom used to walk my sister every day to school in the mornings. She would wake me up at 6:45 AM on school days to let me know that she was about to leave. I would be home alone since my dad works at night, he would get home at around 7:30 AM, and by that time it was almost my turn to walk to school with my mom. It had all become a routine, a routine that was about to be turned upside down.

   It was the Monday right after spring break, my mom woke me up at 6:45, like always. I said goodbye and went back to sleep, nobody would’ve thought that she was not going to return and that I'll have to go to school without my ‘bendicion’.

  What felt like 5 minutes of sleep turned out to be 40 and soon as I was awakened by my dad’s voice, telling me to wake up and get ready. I felt a thing in my chest, like if something bad had happened. My mom wasn’t home, and my dad didn’t explain why. This was very strange, but I just decided to ignore it. I rushed to the car, forgetting my school work and without eating breakfast.

    Throughout the day,  all I could think of was, ‘Where was my mom?’ , ‘Was she okay’, ‘Why wasn’t she home?’, ‘Was she going to be there when I get home?’. There is nothing more frustrating than having no way of answering questions, and I had to deal with this for the rest of the day. At the time I was a 4th grader, irresponsible, it had always been very hard for me to concentrate, and all these questions were making it worse. I remember looking back into my dad’s actions in the morning; he hadn’t said anything on the way to school,  his eyes? Red, like he had been crying, and his lips? Shut. Holding back the truth of what was happening. 

   After school, I went to the front office, where I would wait to see my mom, but instead of her short and petite body blending in among other moms, I saw my dad. This was even more strange, left me with even more questions, questions that soon would be answered with only five words.

   I finally had the courage to ask what was happening, but the response I got was dry, “When we get home” , did not answer anything.

   The ride home was taking longer than usual, green lights seemed to be non-existent, and there was so much traffic. After what felt like hours, we got home.

   As soon as my dad opened the door and I stepped inside, a wave of dead silence hit me in the face. The kitchen was dark, and the curtains were closed, allowing barely any light into the house. This did not seem like my house at 3 PM. 

  I was so confused. My mom and sister weren't home, obviously, and my dad seemed like he was hiding something. Minutes later, my dad came into the room, where I was; for the first time in the span of the day, he looked at me into the eyes, still red, he opened his mouth and in a soft voice he said, “We’re going to the hospital”. 

  His voice cracked and a tear ran down his cheek. He quickly turned around and I followed, making our way into the car, and not making eye contact again. 

   I felt the need to cry, to ask for details, but I couldn’t for neither my dad or I could say anything. No words came out when I tried to speak, they were stuck, and tears managed to form inside my eyes. I already knew this was nothing good.

   We got to the hospital. We made our away across the halls, trying to stay together. We finally arrived at what seemed like our final destination:

  EMERGENCY ROOM 

   I saw a familiar face, my sister’s. She was covered in tears, her face red, and she still had her backpack on. She stood up, wiped her nose, gave some paperwork to a nurse, and turned around. She saw me. She covered her mouth, I walked closer to her and she hugged me. Tears ran down her face. From the corner of my eye, I spotted my dad walking away with his hands in his pockets and looking down. Still confused, I pulled away and looked at her. “Is mom, is mom ok-ay?”. She looked at me, and said, “Come on”. She grabbed my hand and we walked together looking for a place to eat. As we walked she explained many things that answered many questions.

   Even now, I still consider my sister one of the strongest people I know. As a 16-year-old, she saw the result of the event, right after it happened, and dealt with it herself. She was sitting on the bus talking to her friends when she noticed our neighbor, Aliana, outside talking to the bus driver, something about an accident with a car.  My sister looked out the window and Aliana was there, signaling her to come out, something was happening. She didn’t know why Aliana needed her, but she came out anyway. Once outside of the bus, Aliana told her what happened. She ran. Our mom was lying there, close to the sidewalk. A firefighter arrived and helped her keep my mom conscious, asking questions, while Aliana called the police and the ambulance. My sister then called her friends to let them know that she wouldn’t go to school and she called dad to let him know what had happened. Dad arrived at the place and talked to my sister for a little bit before coming home to me.

   That’s why my dad woke me up, that’s why his eyes were red, that’s why my mom wasn't home and neither my sister, that’s why we were at the hospital, that’s why I had what felt like a strange feeling in my chest when I woke up. It all made sense now.

   The smell of food made me notice how hungry I actually was. Eating made me gain strength since by this time, I was very weak,  I couldn't even cry anymore. My sister on the other hand, just drank coffee, I offered to give her some of the food I had ordered but she refused. All she did was sit there, blankly staring into space, pondering, and zoning out.

   Not long after, we walked back to the waiting room, we found dad sitting down, drinking coffee. When I looked outside, it was dark, which meant I had been in the hospital for more than 4 hours.  I was pretty tired now, my eyes were starting to close and that's when the sound of a door opening woke me up. 

   It was a nurse, she called for the family of ‘Marisol’ and me and my sister got up. I looked back at my dad, he was asleep. My sister asked the nurse if I could go in to see my mom, but she tried to explain that I was too young, hospitals weren't allowed to let kids under 12 inside emergency rooms. However, my sister managed to convince the nurse, and we followed her towards one of the rooms, where my mom was. Before she opened the door, my sister looked at me and said, “Let’s go see mom, she’s really tired, try to not cry, be strong, everything will be okay”. I didn't know what to say so I just nodded. She opened the door.

   There she was.

   She was covered in a blue blanket. I walked closer, while my sister stayed at the door. My mom heard me and turned her head towards my direction. It is hard to explain exactly how she looked like, but I remember that her eyes were red, she had a dark purple bruise covering her right eye, her lips were dry, and she looked very tired. Even after this, she managed to force a weak smile when she spotted me. She grabbed my hand and my heart dropped. I felt tears forming in my eyes, then down my cheeks, my face was hot, and soon I was sobbing. I just couldn't help it, my mom was in a hospital bed, she looked like her head was hurting, and there was nothing worse than seeing her like that right now. My mom was talking to my sister, well saying whatever she could actually pronounce correctly, and meanwhile, I stared at her hand and thought, “Will she be okay?”.

   Soon, the nurse came in and told us that my mom needed to rest. After we got out of the room, my sister started crying and I followed. Both standing in the middle of the waiting room hugging, covering ourselves in tears. “I'm sorry, I couldn't be strong” , she wiped her tears and smiled, “It’s okay. I knew you weren’t going to be able to hold it, but now we have to be strong together to help mom, maybe start by making your own bed”. I smiled and nodded. 

   My dad let us know that he was going to stay in the hospital and take care of my mom while me and my sister went home with one of my dad’s cousins. She soon arrived, we hugged dad and said bye as we got in the car. 

  As we drove home, our aunt kept asking if we needed anything else, like food or something, both of us just politely said no. All we really needed was to sleep, try to forget, and hope for my mom to recover soon.