In January 2014, my life changed. My family and I made an important decision to come to America, pursuing a healthier environment and a more open-minded education. At that time in China, air pollution had worsened and the death rate across all age groups from lung cancer had increased significantly. In 2015 alone, China had nearly 4.3 million new cancer patients from air pollution, including 730,000 cases of lung cancer, accounting for 36 percent of the world's total.

My mom was shocked and angry that my school still made us run for twenty minutes outside every day despite the serious air pollution in Shijiazhuang. I remember overhearing my mom talking to my dad about the possibility of moving to America. At almost 14, this is the time when a seventh-grader is wondering about her future, let alone what might happen to her if she decides to leave the majority of her family to come to a culturally, politically, and socially different country. Starting that day, even though I was unsure of where I would end up, I was overcome often by a unique and strong sense of excitement and hope. After months of wavering between my future and our family, along with preparations, my mom decided to give up her job to come with me to America to begin a new chapter of our life. We were filled with many multifaceted feelings.

When we first arrived in America, I felt complete loneliness and awkwardness. Standing in the airport waiting for the taxi to pick us up, I felt lost. Everyone I saw there looked focused; there was a sense of mission and responsibility in their eyes, and their confidence was expressed in the way they looked and walked. I knew with certainty that I didn’t come here committed to something. However, a strong sense of worry accompanied by great expectations washed over me; it was like saying goodbye to my past and embracing my future.

Everything I saw was new; the food, the people, the language, and the culture.

During the first few weeks of school, I was a foreigner. I had no friends, not only because I had trouble understanding and speaking to them, but because I didn't know how to communicate with people that had such a different background from me. I was afraid of trying new things that I knew nothing about. For most of my classes, I was unable to interpret and absorb what teachers taught me. As a result, I failed most of my subjects' tests except math. I also had few "friends" aside from a few acquaintances. I struggled the most with sports. I was surprised by the fact that sports play such a big role in Americans’ lives. This was the total opposite in China, where only elite athletes that are competing in the Olympics participate in intense sports practices, not high schoolers. I did not know what to do and constantly felt inadequate. Every day I was physically at school but mentally gone for the day.

When I got home, I cried quite often. One day I stopped. Not because I tried not to, but because I realized that I no longer had time to just cry. Over time, I realized crying was perhaps the least productive and silent weapon to battle adversities.

Fortunately, I always had my mom by my side, whom I always think of when I feel disconnected from reality. Throughout this time, we became more like best friends because we experienced this together. I remember one day I came home from school and my mom asked me, “How was school today?” I replied, "It was okay.” She then said, “I just want to let you know, if you ever feel down, remember you are not alone. I am right here."

It was a simple sentence of twenty-one words but the power it conveyed was immeasurable. I felt happy, but it was different from the happiness of simply receiving an A or getting a gift from someone else. It was a feeling of belonging. At the same time, I felt lucky, because my mom was having the same issues as me, but a forty-five-year-old woman who knew little English and nothing about America came to this country for me. She gave up everything she worked for so that we could move here. Even though we were both facing the same difficulties of adjusting to this new environment, I only needed to deal with my school stuff and the other things I am obligated to do as a student. My mom, however, needed to put herself in a position of keeping a "family" together even though there were only two people. Not only did she need to take on all the housework, which she had no experience doing, but she also had to build a new social network, act as my personal "psychologist," and also fulfill my father's role, since my dad works in China. I kept wondering why she made this risky decision. Now, I know that she did this not only because she loves me so much that she wants to give me the best opportunities in life, but also because she has faith in me; with the belief that her daughter will not let her down.

That day, I changed again. I felt I was saved from almost falling off the cliff into an abyss of frustration and the unknown. Why couldn't I have some faith in myself? With my mother’s comfort and encouragement, I decided to be bold and ask questions in class, and I tried my best to open myself up to this new world. After one week, I was encouraged to raise my hand in class to ask questions, and I became more comfortable talking to strangers. More importantly, it seemed like something that had always chained my personality to my body was gone. I was able to express myself the way I truly am instead of pretending. I no longer ditched any of my swim and crew practices; as time passed by, I started to compete in meets and regattas, and I eventually earned my place of competing in the championships. More importantly, I started to love participating in sports and the experience of accomplishing things as a team. As my confidence continued to grow and I put myself out there, I joined different clubs and even made new friends.

Looking back today I appreciate this opportunity that made me struggle. This experience was not only about adapting to a new environment and keeping my grades up but also about learning how to become comfortable with the uncomfortable. There’s a saying that has impacted me, "Happiness is a state of being, with being physically and mentally healthy, pursuing things that are meaningful to us and contributing to something larger than us instead of a status quo or an end goal to be achieved."  Through my difficult transition to America, I learned how to become independent and persistent and made connections with people that have entirely different backgrounds. This experience took me from being a sheltered comfortable kid to a strong-willed, confident young adult. I lost my excessive, naive pride and I gained faith in my true self.