The glowing bright sun reflected over the thin blue water, and created a wide orange path towards the sands. The sound of birds chirping, and the silent movement of the fluffy white clouds started to cover the large source of light and darkness began to take over. I closed both of my eyes and listened to the sound of the waves hitting the shore as I felt wetness on my feet. The breeze flipped my hair everywhere as I tried to remove strands from my face. Suddenly, I heard a shout from a distance indicating that it's time to eat. I slowly opened my eyes.  I saw that it was night time, and that the stars were coming out as the waves were getting calmer. The sky became a bluish-black transformed by the reflection of the stars and the water. I got up and dusted off all the tiny grains of sand attached to my t-shirt and shorts as I began running back to the village. Life in this small and connected village was great, even though I followed the same routine each night. I passed the night lights that were now on, which created a pathway to heaven, and different families setting their tables outside of their houses where adults yelled at their kids to stop running and start helping. Four years have passed since the day we arrived here to live with my grandparents, mother, seven-year-old sister, and ten-year-old brother. I wish that we can say this way forever, but soon everything will begin to change when I agree to a decision that I will live to regret.

Life was going great until August 10, 2010, which is when I was informed that we were going to America for a five-day trip. I was really excited because I thought that I was going to explore the world, but agreeing to this trip was the decision I regret the most. Before we left everyone looked so upset, and I was confused as to why they were acting this way because we were only going to America for five days right? During the car ride, on the way to the airport, I saw different people whose style of clothing was so different compared to the style in my village The girls were wearing short dresses with white shirts that had weird looking lions on them, and the boys were wearing blue pants with white shirts and the same lion. They had shiny metals in their ears that I’d never seen before. Since we had to pass through the market to get to the other part of the road, I could smell all the amazing street foods and I began to sniff like a dog trying to taste the spicy flavor in the air. The sizzling and the popping from the oil caused the food to smoke and the smell filled the streets. Everyone was pushing, trying to pass through the large crowds as they cheered for the people in the market to perform their talents. When we passed the market I told myself that once I got back I would definitely go there, but that wouldn’t be soon because everything that I wanted for myself five days from now won’t happen until much later. 

As we were sitting on the plane I had a feeling of discomfort, and I had the urge to hit something, but I didn’t know what it was exactly. I wanted to know what was happening to me because I love playing and traveling and I’m always the hyper kid, but now I hate this. When I returned back to my seat, I opened the window and immediately the light shined through my eyes and I closed them trying to get used to it. I looked at the wings of the plane as they sliced through the lonely fluffy clouds outside, and they slowly moved together forming into the shape of the village. I rubbed my eyes until they were red to check if I was seeing things.  Everyone was so chill, everyone on the plane was enjoying themself with the movie in front of them, and a large amount of snacks on their trays. They moved side to side trying to find a comfortable position, but I can’t relate to them. We landed around midnight, and after we got out I began to realize what I had been so worried about because nothing was the same. I felt as if I was in the middle of a dark hole and the voice inside my head kept repeating, “See what you have done!” The view was completely different, and the people were smoking and arguing, and the scent was so unpleasant that it  felt like someone choking me from behind. The loud sounds made me so dizzy. In that instance I thought, “It’s fine it’s only 5 days right? Nothing will happen and I will return home 5 days later, right?” In my heart, I am already starting a countdown, and things won’t get worse, or will they?

A week has passed since we arrived here and I'm already begging my mom to return back home because every day in this new environment causes me to feel pressure and the pain of a needle poking my heart silently. The moment she said, "This is our new home," my heart shattered into millions of pieces. It was like the needle had popped the protective layer of my heart. That day I didn’t leave my room because every step outside made me realize that I’m in a new environment and I can’t return home. 

I hated this place because I noticed that it was cold as an ice cube; everyone minded their own business without caring about others. The streets looked so dead and gloomy. The yellow light I saw in the village became black in this place. The streets were filled with dirty puddles of water, trash, and the scent of the people smoking, which disgusted me to the core. We went to Times Square where people’s unsmiling faces were filled with stress and pressure. People yelled at one another, people cursed through their phones, people screamed for absolutely no reason, and most importantly people pushed one another trying to skip the line for a dinner spot. 

At night here they don’t sit outside and talk with their neighbors like we do. All they do is sit outside and smoke into the air and diss other people behind their backs. They don’t connect with one another. Most importantly America doesn’t have bright stars that watch over us. The skies are an empty pitch black. The sky that was once sky covered with stars in the village is now covered only by the dark clouds that fuel all your anger and depressions. I knew from these observations that this place was the opposite of our village, and that it was much worse because stars symbolize hope and happiness, and thus this place was lacking these two key elements. After another two or three weeks, I was officially enrolled at P.S.176 where I began to understand the real meaning being the sentiment that change is necessary for your identity.

Due to all these changes that resulted from moving, I was no longer the outgoing kid. Instead I was always in the corner hiding from this evil place that changed me. I was afraid to express any emotion because I was scared that others would judge who I am as a person based on how I acted towards my surroundings. However, when I met my 2nd grade teacher, I began to view this place through another perspective. I began to view this place through the perspective of someone who lived here for their whole life. When I arrived in the classroom on the first day I saw many things that you never saw in our villages, like the huge pink word wall that had words inside cubes behind the teacher’s blue desk,and the huge blue and red American flag that had a poster attached to it with the lyrics to the morning exercise. I sat near the heater and saw that she had many posters hung in a line across the room almost like a word roller coaster. Overall, her classroom looked so colorful, and not dull like the world. Her desk was filled with blue and white paper with many smiley face stickers, and our desks were in groups of four. Each chair had a blue bag on the back,and our names were printed on our desks. 

After five minutes had passed, the sound of shoes bouncing off the tiles filled the hallways as students my age rushed in and sat on the fluffy and comfortable animal rug. First, the teacher introduced herself as Ms.Chan. She had blond curly hair with a rectangular smile. She told us to introduce ourselves and to say where we were from. All the students started talking, and I was staring at the jar of DumDum lollipops she had over on the counter. I just kept staring at it, and I didn't even know it was my turn until she called me using her soft voice: “Micki.”

 I was really awkward at the beginning. but later I decided to speak out about my anger towards America. I thought she would yell at me, but she told me that she also came from a village just like me, and she told me that she was unable to adapt to her job until, eventually, she realized that the difference between two cultures helps you evolve into a better person. She also told me that it's not like America doesn't have stars, it's just that the stars live in our heart rather than up in the sky. She told me that America also has things we don’t have in a village,like a school with full resources. It may seem as if America is a bad place because it's not like the village where our lives were, but only the one who really wants to change and grow is able to see both the good and evil in an environment.

After that conversation, I asked my mother if we could go to Times Square again because it was the place I called disgusting. I wanted to go back and see that place through another perspective. That Saturday morning I woke up early as I stared at my white ceiling covered with stars. I opened the curtain and saw the pigeons sitting on the wire as they searched for food. The bright sun reflected over my face as I gave this place a second chance to change my opinion. When we arrived in Times Square, all I could smell were the hot dogs sold on the streets, and all I could hear was the chatting between people, but this time they were planning what to eat, not gossiping about others. There wasn’t any cursing, and no one was pushing each other. All I could see was a straight line, and people taking pictures of this wonderful environment. The stairs were covered with people laughing rather than with faces full of pressure and pain. That day I didn’t want to leave because I found another me, and there was so much that I didn't finish exploring. I was excited to continue with my exploration.

 Maybe I did change, and maybe I’m still a bit confused, but I know that eventually, everything will be clear. For the first time, I wasn’t angry about coming to America because I realized that America also has its beautiful side. I always looked at America as if it was Hell, and that is why I wasn’t able to see the beauty in this world. My identity is no longer that of a little girl who plays with the boys and is carefree. I’ve become a girl who needs to learn and change according to this new society because identity doesn't always stay the same and these struggles make you grow. Although I don't live in that village anymore it has shaped me to understand that people are different, and while America is different from the village those differences are what make me grow and become who I am now.