I will never forget the moment I felt darkness come over me. This heavy feeling filled my heart, a shot of adrenaline pulsed through my body. It was November 10, 2019 I was spending the weekend with my friend Jazzy. We had just come downstairs to eat breakfast; we were greeted by her mom and little sisters. The smell of fresh coffee fluttered throughout the home. Jazzy and I grabbed some cereal and went upstairs, we ate in her bedroom although we were not supposed to. Jazzy turned on the tv and we sat and watched Moesha, it was our favorite show to watch together. We sat together giggling and eating our cereal I had finished my bowl and had reached over to grab phone. When I looked down at my phone, I had seen I had missed to calls from my mom. I instantly knew something was wrong, my mom never calls more than once unless something is going on.

              “Jazzy pause the TV.”

              “Why?”

              “I got to call my mom back she called me,” I said. Jazzy paused the tv and I quickly called my mom back. When answered there was just silence.

              “hello?” I asked.

              “Am I on speaker?” my mom asked.

              “Yes.”

              “Take me off of it,” I took her off speaker and she continued. “I just picked up Xavier and we are going to Titi Elsies house…” Xavier lives in New York, so what was he doing in Tampa. “Titi Marisol died this morning at Three.” Oh, that is why he is here, I thought. Titi Marisol is Xaviers mom and my aunt. “Do you want me to pick you up now so you can go with us or do you want to stay at Jazzy’s house.

              “Just pick me up now I guess.” I had to go with Xavier, hes my family I had to be there for him in this hard moment.

              “Okay ill be there in thirty minutes”

              “k.” I hung up the phone, with a shocked look on my face.

Jazzy looked over at me, “What happened?” she asked.

I looked up from my phone with tears in my eyes, “My aunt died this morning…” The tears fell from my face. “Lung cancer.”

Jazzy looked at me with a shocked look on her face. We sat in shock for what felt like hours. A rush of emotion hit me like a ton of bricks. My eyes full of tears. The heavy feeling of my heart dropping to my stomach, I felt nauseous. I had a million thoughts running through my mind, how could this happen, why did this happen. But the most important thing I could think about was my Xavier, I could not stay at Jazzy’s I had to be there for my cousin, he needed me.

              “Are you going to leave?”

              “I have to be there for my family.” I said as I wiped the tears from my now red and puffy eyes. Thirty minutes went by and my mom finally arrived at Jazzy’s house. Jazzy walked me to the front door and gave me a hug goodbye. I walked to the car with all my things in my hand, Xavier stepped out and gave me a huge hug.

              “Hey twin!” Xavier always called me twin because we look alike. “I missed you.”

              “Hey twin.” We got into the car and were on our way to Titi Elsies house. The car ride felt like it took years. When we got out the car, we looked up towards Titi Elsie’s apartment. It was almost as if there was a dark cloud around the apartment balcony.  When we made it up the three flights of stairs Xavier, and I froze we could not bring ourselves to open the door. Xavier looked over at me and grabbed my hand, I knocked, and Titi Nancy opened the door. She looked at us with exhaustion in her face, you could tell she had been crying for hours. Titi Nancy grabbed us and pulled us in for a hug, she hugged so tight I could barely breath. When Titi Nancy let go, she walked over to my mom and they walked into the apartment together, me and Xavier followed. Everybody was in that living room my cousins, my grandmother, my uncles, and other aunts, even family that I have not seen in years. By the time we had gotten to the apartment everybody had already seen Titi Marisol, so it was my turn. I walked towards the last bedroom in the hallway the door was opened, and I walked in, Xavier came in right after me. I turned the corner and there she was Titi Marisol lying on the bed cold and pale. I dropped to the ground in tears. “Oh My God, Why?!” I sobbed.

              Xavier walked over to his mothers’ body and hugged her so tight and cried. “I love you momma!” My grandmother walked into the room, she practically raised Xavier, she quickly ran to him and started to comfort him. I could not stand to see them there with her body laying cold, I rushed out of the room and walked over to the balcony, I need some air. Tio Baby was on the balcony and we started talking, he was trying to get my mind off what just happened in that room.

              “I can’t believe she’s gone.” I spoke.

              Tio baby looked towards me “I know Nena, I know.”

A couple of hours went by and the people from the funeral home had gotten to the apartment to take Titi Marisol away. When I saw her body being taken away, I looked around and everyone was still crying, but me… I was numb. People were asking if me and Xavier were okay, but we could not feel any emotion, we were numb. It was already four o’clock and my mom and I were ready to go, we said goodbye to our family, and I gave Xavier one last big hug before I left. “Call me if you need anything, I love you.”

              “Okay, I love you too cuzzo.”

My mom and I got in the car and she asked me if I were hungry, I could not eat after what just happened. We finally got home, and everything was quiet.