As far as I can remember, my number one enjoyment was dancing. Dancing seemed to be the only thing there for me. Trusting is very hard for me, dancing was a way I could express myself and feel true trust.  I also like to play  basketball and softball. I enjoy  crafting, adventuring, and camping. I have a true calling to help people, no matter how hard I have to try to succeed. I try to look at the positive in everyone. I am adopted. I have four sisters and four brothers. I am the oldest out of them all. I am very social, and outgoing.

My soundtrack is about sadness, happiness, hope, trust and love. My soundtrack has these emotions in it because I have felt like my life has been a roller coaster going up and down. My soundtrack gets to teach you the listener about how one person’s life can be chaotic and hard. Although my songs may seem slow and sad, it helps with the pain when I need it most. My soundtrack also explains that everyone has their own story whether it’s good or bad. We should be nice to everyone no matter what happens in my life or yours.

The first song I am starting with is “Everything I Wanted” by Billie Eilish. The composer is Billie and her brother Finneas. The song was released in 2019. The song was the beginning of my life. When I was two or three years old my mom was on drugs and my step father was an alcoholic. I remember one night I was on the porch of our house, and I saw a shooting star. With that shooting star I wished for a perfect family. I have never seen a shooting star since.

“Monster” is the next song by Shawn Mendes featuring Justin Bieber. The Composer is Justin, Shawn, Frank Dukes and Daniel Caesar. This song was released in 2020. For the longest time I thought I was the cause of the violence and chaos in my life, but the older I got the more I understood that hate fills the world and hurts more people than. I like the Justin Bieber part when he says, “I was 15 when the world put me on a pedestal.” It reminds me that I was around two or three when the world put me on a pedestal. Which makes me think about how I want to spread love and kindness to help people. 

“This City” by Sam Fischer is my next song. The composers are Sam, Jimmy Robbins and Jackson Morgan. This song was released in 2018. I chose this for my third song because growing up in Marion we kept moving houses. It always felt like I never had a home because of the constant move. It hits me hard when I’m in Marion and I see all the houses I have lived in. There’s a line in the song that represents the paragraph that I want to share with you. “This city's got me chasing stars, It's been a couple months since I felt like I'm home.”

“Before You Go” by Lewis Capaldi is my fourth song. The composer is Lewis. The song was released in 2019. This song reminds me of my eighth birthday,that's when my biological mother stopped calling me. When my birthday comes up each year I hope she will call, but it never happens. I like the lyrics “I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, but I was just kidding myself” helps me recognize that I have every reason to hate my own mom, but can’t. Hating is the worst feeling. Even the Bible says to forgive those who have hurt you the most.

“Symphony” by Clean Bandit featuring Zara Larsson is my fifth song. The composers are Jack Patterson, Ina Wroldsen, Steve Mac and Anmal Malik. The song was released in 2017. I chose this song because it represents all the loved ones I have lost. I lost my Great grandma my first year of 6th grade. I was very close with her, and she taught me a lot of life lessons. The second loss was my stillborn cousin Sawyer. It is still hard to believe that wrong things happen to innocent children.

“Count That High” by Jordan Feliz is my sixth song. The composer is Jordan. The song was released in 2018. This is my sixth song because this would be the time frame when I got adopted after foster care and living with my grandma. I was very shocked that I was accepted into a home at my age. It’s hard for young teenagers to find a home. Being able to have a stable home is amazing, and awesome. They keep doing so much for me and being able to live up to expectations is awesome. They believe in me and encourage me to do bigger and better things.

“Humble'' by Kendric Lamar. The composer is Kendric and Mike Will Made-It. The song was released in 2018. Humble is a great song for me because when I get caught in drama that people pull me into, it helps me to sit and be quiet and not let it get to me. Sometimes when you're in drama it can hurt you and others. I have learned that keeping to yourself and not letting it get to you helps you to stay out of it and it eventually goes away. I have been bullied a lot, but I still stand tall and don’t fall down.

“Silence” by Marshmello featuring Khalid. The composer is Marshmello. The song was released in 2017. This is my eighth song. This song speaks to me about having a voice for all kids and adults that had to go through poverty, abuse, and alcoholism. I like helping people, I want to be a voice for people to know that change needs to happen. Last year I wrote a speech for the seventh and eighth graders about these things. I also shared some of my personal experiences. Khalid makes a good point with these lyrics. “Yeah, I'd rather be a lover than a fighter, 'Cause all my life, I've been fighting, Never felt a feeling of comfort, All this time, I've been hiding.”

“What Other People Say” by Sam Fischer featuring Demi Lavato. The composers are Sam, Demi, Geoff Warburton, and Ryan Williamson. The song was released in 2021. I want the best for myself, but sometimes it’s hard. People become crazy wanting to be like everybody else, especially in today’s world. I have struggled with having my own identity. I get caught up in the world of wanting to be like everybody else. No one will be happy if everyone is the same. There would be no fun and no change. I always wanted to hide myself. I would lie about who I was for a long time. When I had my last name changed I wanted to be a different person and not be the old Casandra. Great lyrics for this is “Cause I'm all grown up and I'm black and blue, I could use some tape, I could use some glue.”

“Human” by Rag'n'Bone Man. The composers are Rag’n‘Bone Man, and Jamie Hartman. The song was released in 2016. Everyone makes mistakes. WIth this song it reminds me of all the time I had to pay my dues for my mom’s or dad’s mistake by teachers telling me that I will be a failure like my dad. I have also had family members tell me that I would one day neglect my kids, or do drugs like my father does. It sucks living in a world full of hate. Being the one stuck in the middle of a battle between you and the world, also leaves you feeling lonely. These lyrics speak about the paragraph “I'm only human after all, Don't put the blame on me.”

When I said it’s been difficult for me to trust, it has. I have been ruined with a bunch of lies throughout my life. It still continues today but it is improving. My adoptive parents have helped me to trust people again. I will continue to improve myself and my trust. I hope one day to laugh in everybody’s face who told me I would be nothing. 

These are the song’s of my life.