Something so simple but it's so hard, walking. Walking down the hall at school, going to school, meeting new people. Something that is so simple but is so hard for me to do. Are they looking at me? No, definitely not, why would they look at me? No, they didn’t just keep walking to your next class. Just talk to your friend about some homework assignment so you don't look awkward, weird, and like a loner, while you’re walking alone in the hallway at school. This is what my anxiety feels like, a scary, dark place and when my anxiety takes over it can be a mess. That is why I don't let that happen. I try to overcome it the best I can when I need to. My anxiety can be an annoying headache that can mess with my whole life. My anxiety cancels plans, overthinks simple situations, and can make me very overwhelmed. My anxiety freaks out when something is done wrong or it isn't 100% or perfect. 

My anxiety has felt like it has always been here, just a weight on my back, something I have to carry with me all the time, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I can never really remember when, how, or why it started, it just did. One of the earliest most memorable moments I remember with my anxiety was from 7th-grade history class. It was a small classroom with a bunch of those wooden desks put together in groups of 4. The room had a lot of history-related posters and a few windows on one wall. We had to go up and present in front of the class and read off a google slide. It was only 3 slides long and you just had to briefly describe the topic. It was so hard for me to do. I never understood why until later. I sat in my chair procrastinating going up and presenting. I was so nervous and scared at the moment. I sat there watching people willingly volunteer to go up. It was such a strange thing to me. Those people would just go up all carefree like going up in front of the class is no big deal. It's not like it's 100 people, it's 25 kids I’ve known since kindergarten. 

I was the last person to present. 7th-hour on a Friday with 5 minutes left of class. I was hoping that I wouldn't have to present because of the little amount of time left and that I would just be able to get out of doing it. But I went up and I was trembling. I was so nervous I felt like my heart was beating miles a minute and that it was going to explode. I specifically, remember that my legs were shaking so bad when I was up at the board. I also remember that my voice sounded incredibly stuttered and scared. As I read off of the slide I watched all 50 eyes stare at me. I read the slides as fast as I could so that way I could just leave and go home for the weekend. But I did it. I presented that little project and fought through my anxiety that day. 

In conclusion, my anxiety is something that I will always have. Even if it doesn't show 100% of the time it will always be by my side. Now that I know how to help my anxiety lower I use a simple strategy. Sometimes if it's a bad day and I am really frustrated I try to take close my eyes and 5 deep breaths to slow my breathing because that helps me calm down. Anxiety will always be with me on my crying, headache, bad days, and even on my happy, carefree, good days. As someone who has anxiety, it has been a struggle among many things and I know that it can be a big pain; but I will always try my hardest to push through it.