When I was younger I didn’t really like my grandparents. My tiny child brain couldn’t figure out why we drove six hours away four times a year to see these people. They lived in the middle of nowhere- literally nowhere. The only stores out there were a Walmart, a butchershop, and a liquor store- that’s it. There were no other kids, or basketball hoops, or water parks. I was convinced that my parents were only bringing my brother and I down to that little house in that little town for pure torture. My brother and I were the only kids ever there because all of our cousins and other siblings were at least ten years older than us. We would lay in bed watching Nickelodeon all day because it was the only kids channel grandpa had on the tv. Then after hours of watching old Spongebob episodes we would chase the dog around the house until the next meal was ready. It was the same every time, drive sixty million miles away, watch tv, chase dog, eat, repeat. To most this may seem like absolute heaven, not having any worries in the world but I couldn’t think of anything worse.

It wasn’t until my freshman year of high school that I began to appreciate these trips down south. Most likely due to a combination of me growing up, realizing the importance of family, and going three years without seeing them due to Covid. I started to miss the humidity of the south, the fish frys with hundreds of people who claimed they had known me as a baby. 

“Oh, you’re so big now,” or the “You don’t remember me?”, or the classic “I used to change your diaper.” While these conversations are still to this day extremely uncomfortable and genuinely purposeless, I longed for these social interactions. I miss shooting fireworks in the street and almost setting the house on fire. I miss sneaking out of our room with my brother to go open our stockings before everyone woke up. I miss the hugs, and the laughs, and the constant smell of something cooking in the kitchen. I miss going to my grandparents house. 

Now it is 2022 and I rarely see my family at all. I am constantly wishing I never took advantage of those trips down to grandpa's house every Fourth of July, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and summer break. It wasn’t until I didn’t have the luxury of knowing I was going to see them whether I wanted to or not that I realized how lucky I was. I haven’t seen my extended family in years; the only time we get together anymore is for funerals. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if my grandparents lived down the street like everyone else, or if my aunts and uncles lived just twenty minutes away. I feel like they’re missing all the important events in my life- birthdays, prom, graduation- events that all my friends happily remind me their family attends. Now, I’m almost a senior in high school and I feel like I don’t even know them, they’re just these people I see every now and then. It doesn’t feel right and I wish things were different. I miss the connection we all used to have. I miss waking up at 4 AM on a Saturday to drive down there. I miss seeing my siblings, and my aunts and uncles, and my cousins, and my grandparents. I miss my grandparents' house.