Today is my birthday. I used to love birthdays. One year older, so much stuff to do. Explore. Now it's just a reminder that I’m getting older. I do not like being the center of attention. People singing to me on my birthday is probably the thing I hate the most about my day. And, in my family, there are like 12 verses to the birthday song. 

There’s a video of me on my 6th birthday opening presents and being sung to. Each present I opened, the smile on my face grew wider. On my head was a paper crown I made at school that day. It said “Birthday Girl”. I even begged my family to sing the birthday song twice. Now I don’t even want it sung once. 

So, how did it change so much? With birthdays everyone expects you to feel and act older. People ask you the day of, “Do you feel older?”. Yeah, like this one day, when the clock turned from 11:59 pm to 12:00 am, you are immediately supposed to feel older. Well, the answer to that question is most often, no. Age is just some measure of time. It's one of the many numbers that are attached to our identities. And sure, it's necessary, but the way it's portrayed makes it seem like once we are a year older, there are limitations to what we can do anymore. So while each year may give you a new set of abilities, it also takes them away. And that’s why I don’t really like birthdays. Sure I still look forward to the future, the life I’ll have in 5, 10, or 15 years. It's exciting. So yes, little 6-year-old me loved her birthday. She looked forward to the new things she could do. But now 17 year old me worry that I haven’t made the most of my time. And worries that there are things I shouldn’t be doing anymore.