I’m sitting on the couch in a small room watching a scary movie and eating popcorn. The popcorn just got out of the microwave filling the room with its buttery scent. That’s when my friend barged in from outside dripping water after he got done swimming. He walks into the living room his light skin face red with rage when he sees me sitting on the couch. His long curly hair steams with rage while he yells at me to get off the couch. I wasn’t too worried about it because he was about 5’3 and 120 pounds while I at the time was 5’11 245. He didn’t back down from me because deep down he knew I wouldn’t do anything and he would eventually get his way. He proceeds to take my white cheddar popcorn and put it all in his hands, while throwing it at me he screams oink oink eat the popcorn you fat pig. I sit there listening to his words, my heart sinking further and further into my stomach with each word he says. Not knowing how to react I sat there taking it all until I gave up and gave him the couch. Not only did he get his seat on the couch, but he also got to me and left me dead inside.

I walk into the living room that connects to the kitchen. In front of me is a 90-degree brown couch with two Pitbulls on it. To the left is a sliding glass door leading to the patio outside. Inside the room, there’s a rug and a fish tank on the left wall with multiple small colorful fish in it. Straight ahead of the kitchen is the gray brick fireplace and a large black tv above the fireplace. Toys are scattered around in the corner of the room and on the mantle. This is the room where I got something that never left. Ever since that day at my friends' house I have always carried my body image with me. Every second of every day I am self-conscious about how I look. Not long after that day, I decided I was gonna lose weight. So every single day I would get on my phone and use MyPlate to track my calories. Each day I went to the gym starting off small at the YMCA where the weight room was small and compact with very little equipment. This meant it was always jam-packed with people and it was hard to get a full workout in. Yet I prospered through these times I was in the gym every single day taking progress pictures as my body slowly changed. Some days it was so bad I would sprint in between each set of lifting weights because I hated how I looked and wanted to change so bad. 

From August 2021 to March 2022 I worked hard every single day until I finally reached my goal of 180 pounds. Throughout these 8 months, my body had changed quite a lot. My face got skinnier and my jawline got more defined, my arms got a lot smaller and more defined along with my stomach and chest. Every bit of me lost a lot of fat and looks 10x better now. Ever since that day, I have hated myself, but it worked out in the end because if it weren’t for that day I might still be fat and hating myself. Not only do I always carry body image with me I also now carry loose skin with me everywhere I go which shows how hard I worked to get to where I am. Even though I hate him for what he did that day I also don’t think I’d be where I am if he didn’t do what he did.

Although I hated every second of that day and did not like experiencing it at all, I’m glad it happened because it gave me the motivation to lose weight. I went from 245 pounds to 180 within 8 months of hard work. Along the way of this journey, I somewhat learned how to at least like myself and how I look. I struggle with body image every day but throughout this journey, it has slowly gotten better. From here on I will continue working out to look good and help myself I love how I look. With this being said I will always carry that weight around by being self-conscious about how I look and what everyone thinks of me. In conclusion, I gained a lot from that day even if it was an awful experience, it shaped me into the person I am today.