Ever since I was a little girl, Christmas was my favorite holiday but Christmas Eve was always my favorite day before the actual holiday. Christmas Eve was something that I have always cherished and was always excited about, always going to my grandparents for dinner, family, presents, and many more. Christmas tree in the corner with presents underneath the tree, the sounds of Christmas music. The sight of every single one of my family gathered around the living room talking and drinking milk, eating cookies, chips and dip, drinking hot cocoa as well, and having the smell of Christmas turkey in the oven turning golden brown, the smell of my great grandma’s perfume, and the smell of cigarette smoke through the air. Everybody’s laughter in mid conversation, talking about memories about our family, happiness through the air and you can definitely feel and hear the happiness in the room, especially through my great grandma, she was never the woman that you would feel happiness from. Hearing the children playing in the back room, jumping on and off the bed, running in and out of the room laughing and smiling, running up to each person in the room. 

Christmas Eve is when I felt the most happy because I saw my family and I would always just smile, cherish the moments just for a second, take them in because I knew someday that I wouldn't be able to feel this again. Just as I knew it was taken from me in a heartbeat when my great grandmother had suddenly past away and my grandmother (dad’s mother) past 3 months after her, all I felt was my heart shattering into a million pieces, that sharp pain in my chest for months then Christmas Eve comes again and nothing, just like it’s a distant memory.