Figuring out what you're going to do in life is difficult. I remember when I wanted to do all sorts of things when I was very young. From ages 4 to 7 I wanted to be a singer. I really liked it and enjoyed it for a time. It was my passion, I loved to sing for all of my relatives and their encouragement really kept me going. It was until I sang for a group of people that when it changed my mind, they didn’t say anything mean, it was more constructive criticism. They didn’t intend on hurting my feelings; but that did stop my singing for a while. I still sing to this day but not as much as I used to. I acknowledged I wasn’t that great and started to sing only in private and around those who wouldn’t care. 

Around the ages 7 to 8 I wanted to be a dancer. I won't lie, I got inspired by this ballerina movie. It really intrigued me on how someone could follow their dreams like that. I danced in my room a lot wondering if I could ever make it as a dancer. I enjoyed dancing in my room privately where no one could criticize me. I wondered about it and if it was what I really wanted to do. After a while the flame that once inspired me snuffed out over time.

Ages 8 to 13 I wanted to be an actor. I thought it was so cool to be on TV. I thought instantly once you were you’d become immediately famous. The thought of everyone looking up to you like I did to other people really fascinated me. I worked on my acting skills myself and became really convincing if I acted out a scene from my favorite show. It was fun performing plays I wrote and performed in front of my family. My cousin thought it was ridiculous but still agreed to do plays with me and perform. My cousin never minded doing them with me. We had fun and never really stuck to the script. I did research about acting and how to become one. First you had to sign to an agency to represent you and get you auditions. I didn't know how to start to do that so I was unsure about acting for a while. But there was another reason at the time I wasn’t happy with how I looked and didn’t feel comfortable being seen on camera so thought about voice acting which wouldn’t require being on camera. It was still technically acting which I was okay with and still passionate about. After some time I figured that I’d have no idea how to go about becoming an actor and didn’t really stop thinking about it and still considered the option as one of my future paths to this day. Once I reached middle school, sixth grade I joined a drama club and performed in a play. I had a supporting role which is basically the medium between an extra and lead. On the night of the play while everyone was getting ready one of our cast called in sick and I volunteered to take over her role. I knew her lines because I helped her practice them so I was suited to fit the role. Although I didn’t know the exact lines I got the main idea of it which was enough. When I performed both of my roles as a supporting and extra some of my cast messed up the script and had to improvise. It wasn't hard to do but did catch me off guard. Other than those few slip ups everything went well and I had a great time doing the play. At the end of the play I got a special shout out which boosted my confidence in my acting skills even more. Although I’m not exactly sure I’ll make a living out of it, I really enjoy doing it and it feels right I still consider acting as a career path.

At the same time as acting I liked writing because I constantly wrote plays and then eventually started writing short stories. I remember I had a binder I wrote short stories in along with shows and plays, it was fun and I liked making up these fantasy worlds. After writing short stories I considered writing books although I’ve never finished any of my novella’s or novels I would like to one day and have them published. I want people to be fascinated with my complex backgrounds, systems, and stories and know a lot of planning and thought was put into that. I prefer not to just write and make up as I go, since sometimes you could get a really good idea that you like so much but adding it in now would contradict the previous written chapters. Writing isn’t something I’m really passionate about, it's more a side hobby that I really enjoy doing in my free time. I possibly might want to get into writing books and plays. One day I might become a published author and if I do I really hope people would enjoy my stories as much as I liked creating them but it won’t be my only way to make a living since you don’t earn that much from writing books. This year I’m still in my school’s drama club, but I was unable to perform this year. I wanted to be a part of the play so badly in some way when I proposed an idea to the drama club teacher if I could write the play. He said yes, but to send him some ideas, I did and he chose “Red Rum” I wrote around 10 pages of a sample and sent it off to him. Let’s just say there were a lot of typo errors, but I fixed them. Other than the typo errors he was impressed and had me continue writing the full play. My play “Red Rum” ended up being a total of 26 pages. I got the name from when my drama teacher was showing us around the set when I spotted a wooden board that said “Red Rum” on it. I asked what it meant and it was murder backwards and then it just stuck with me. My play is about a murder between some high schoolers and turns out the murder was with them the whole time.

Around the age of 10 and a half I wanted to be a track runner even though it seemed impossible I wanted to prove people wrong. It seemed easy and cool to do. It was a sport so I was iffy about it, but I really wanted to do it for a time, until I tried it and boy was I wrong. I never ran or got out much so when I started running and trying it out. I was wrong, it was not easy, after 45 seconds of sprinting and a mix of jogging I knew it wasn’t for me, it was difficult to do and hard. I was never a sports person so I was pretty crazy to think I could do something like running for a career.

Ages 11-12, I know I’m a somewhat smart kid, a little over average but not by much after I’ve been accepted into some academic programs I decided I would work even harder. The reasoning behind this is I was attending my sibling’s graduation and I was reading through the list of all the honors there were honors, high honors, and highest honors, I knew from just reading that I wanted to graduate with highest honors. So in school I decided to put a bit more effort into my studies. Soon I learned of valedictorian, graduating on the top of your class, the highest GPA, grade point average, for every AP class, advance placement, is one extra point and every honor class is half a point. I knew that I wanted to be valedictorian of my class and be looked up to for something which I’ve never had happen in my life. I’d like to be a leader and someone that people admire and look up to. I worked harder and practiced for when it really matters because I knew there are many more capable people than me that could also have a chance if not more of a chance. I used to really have my mind set on the idea and that was my focus for a while although I still want to be. I know it’ll be hard to get. It's not worth everything but it’s worth working for even if I don’t get it at least I know I tried and attempted. I wanted to be good at atleast something, sports were out of the question because I’m not that physically fit to be good at sports so I turned to academics since that’s the only thing I can seem to do right. Which also is a reason I want to be a valedictorian. Even if I don’t get it I atleast wish to be top 3 in my class even though the college I wish to go to only accepts top of the class students. I can at least say I was top 3 and I tried my hardest. Even though I’m still deciding whether or not I want to pursue this I’m still unsure.

After all these years of trying to figure out what I want to do I know figuring it out will take time and I still have some on my side. Whatever I choose in the future whether it’d be acting, a good paying job, or writing. I know I’ll choose the right one for me, a good medium between something I really enjoy and something that pays well and will support me. I don’t have to figure it out now because I still have time before I have to make a decision to decide my future. Trying to figure it out all now isn’t for me even though I like to have a well thought out plan for the future. Figuring it out now will stop me from trying new things that I might even enjoy better than what I picked out.