It was so wonderful everyday coming home to see both my parents' faces light up once I got home from school. But it's all different now. The joy, the happiness, we had, all seemed to disappear. Just because two lovers simply decided to turn away from each other, which caused a slight sadness in me. I'll never be able to walk into the house and see both my parents. I won't be able to experience my family gathering around the Christmas tree. Why did you guys fall out of love? Why were there so many arguments and fights I couldn't help with? Sometimes you will never know what event in your life can change everything. Once my mom and dad started arguing I had no idea what was gonna happen if they were gonna work it out or go separate ways. I was hoping that they were going to work it out but it just kept getting worse. This is an emotional topic because I'd prefer to have both of my parents together but I simply don't have a choice. My parent's divorce was long and tragic for me. When my parents would fight I'd get put in the middle of it then get dragged down and told many mean and hurtful words by both my parents. 

      I used to hear my parents argue after dusk. I never really thought too much about their disputes until they started dragging me into the middle of it and started fighting about me. I didn't know what to do since I was a 10-year-old girl. I was living with my mom, my dad, and my older brother. When I heard yelling I was scared because my parents would take their anger out on me that they had on each other. They would always bring me down and try to manipulate me into thinking the reasons they were fighting were because of me or what I did. I didn't understand what was happening at that time. I didn’t even know what the word manipulation was but I definitely knew the feeling of it. My mom worked for herself at the time but her business wasn't doing too well so my dad would stay and work a little late and come home late. Little did I know that one big fight was going to end my parents' marriage. I remember getting home from school and my mom was angry since my dad wasn't home. and he was about an hour late. When I saw the look on my mom's face I knew she was upset. Once my dad got home she rushed outside, they started screaming and pushing each other and my mom kicked in my dad's truck and took off. I was so confused about what was happening since it was so much for my brain to comprehend at the time. I just remember after days of not seeing my mom. My dad sat me and my brother down and told us the bad news. That it was over. My mom and dad were getting a divorce. I remember feeling a strong wave of emotion come over me since I was manipulated into thinking it was my fault that they were getting a divorce. I was shocked, sad, and angry. How could two adults who have loved each other for 17 years just fall apart so easily? After my dad told me and my brother the news everything started to change so fast. I had stayed with my dad until my mom found a place to live and she started asking to see me again. I felt abandoned by my mom and didn't know how to cope with all the emotions I felt. I started to get extremely sad and exhausted.

     My parents never stopped fighting and arguing with each other. It was like they were still together but in separate households. I think I was still in shock that they were getting a divorce and didn't want to believe it. My mom had started to struggle with trying to pay off bills and quickly became depressed and stressed out all the time. This never helped with how I was trying to cope and get over the fact that I was mentally drained all the time. It was always packing bag after bag going back and forth between houses. I ended up becoming depressed at a young age and was struggling with moving back and forth between my mom and my dad. My dad and I had a stronger bond and connection than me and my mom.  Every time I was at her house she would blame the whole divorce on me and say how I ruined her life. My mom was also getting worse with her bipolar illness and couldn’t control her emotions. Every time I stepped foot in her door she would try to make me tell her things about my dad so she could start more drama and issues with him. I would refuse to say anything because I hated being put in the center of their arguments. My Mom got really angry one day and was trying to take my phone so I couldn't talk to my dad or get ahold of him, so she called the cops because I didn't want to give my phone up.  I was trying to get out of there and have my dad get me because my mom and I mom were fighting. After she called the cops she told them I hit her even though I never laid my hands on my mom she made them take me away but they couldn't do much. My mom made excuses to have me sent to a temporary foster home. When this was happening it was my mom's time so my dad had no idea and once it was his turn to have me my mom lied to him and said I was grounded, and I had to stay with her. Thiswas going on for about two weeks of being in a foster home with a bunch of bad kids even though I did absolutely nothing wrong. Once my dad found out I was there he came and got me and I refused to go back with my mom because of what she did. She tried to put me in Family Counseling but that just couldn't repair the damage she did to me. Eventually, my mom realized she had nothing for her in Florida and gave me the option to live with my dad full-time or have her stay and keep fighting for custody over me. It was a really hard decision for me even though I and I were not getting along. It's never easy to pick between your parents. I did end up picking my dad and my mom left back to Minnesota with my brother.

     Even though this happened to me 5 years ago, my parent's divorce has shaped and influenced my whole life. I've learned not to dwell on things that could be bad because there's always worse. over the years I've changed, little changes, and big changes. I am who I am now because of it. Whether it changed for the bad or the good. I've learned to not let people take advantage of my emotions, and I’ve learned how to deal with my manipulating parents. I wouldn't say I learned it, I just kinda have adapted to the situation. But my mom had also over the years changed for the better. Both of my parents have. My dad has his own business and he makes a lot of money to support me and his family. My mom also is an activity director in nursing now and has learned how to maintain her emotions for the most part. Both of my parents still have some flaws that they need to work on to become a better version of themselves. They need to think about what they say before they say it.  Sometimes they don't realize they are being mean until I turn away from them or push them away. Over the years I've just learned to deal with it even though it's not something I should be used to.

         In the end, the narrative of my parent's divorce is not just a story of separation but one of adaptation and profound insight. It taught me that while families may change form, the love within them can persist and even grow in new directions. This chapter of my life underscored the importance of compassion, communication, and the resilience that comes from embracing change. Though the initial pain of the divorce was sharp, it eventually gave way to a clearer understanding of each parent as an individual and a more mature perspective on relationships. As I move forward, these lessons form the foundation of my approach to life and love, carrying forward the best of what I've learned from both of my parent's journeys.