Sweet, loving, funny, kind, smart, a good student, and pretty satisfied with life. Where did that girl go? She knew what would make her feel better, the simplest things would draw a huge smile across her flawless skin and her day was great. Because of the simplest thing, whether it be purchasing new music, buying a fresh read, feeling a ball of unused yarn waiting to become something magnificent, the small things in life is what counted for her.

She’s no longer the girl who calls up a friend for some fun, she’s lost. She didn’t wander out under a black a starry sky or drive to a foreign existence. Her body is at home, but the personality, the excitement and joy has disappeared and no one seems to have a clue where to find it. The spark in her eyes is gone, the strive to do something is not there.

The long nailed, black and red haired, green eyed girl wakes up every morning with a blank mind. Feeling hot water rain on her skin whispers to her to sit and close her eyes so it can take her somewhere else. She’ll shave her legs and wash her hair, anxious to feel the cold shower over body. She’s cleansed, yes, but still lost.

Listening to her music sing to her, filling her room with sound soothes her. The dry towel resting on her head keeps her naturally curly locks out of her face. She starts fresh with a face cloth and lotion. Reapplying her makeup compliments her greens and gives her an older look. The quicker her hair dries, the sooner she’ll be able to drag two steaming places through it. The mirror reflects a girl, beautiful and accompanied by what to her are two empty eyes that haven’t witnessed whatever happiness is suppose to be in ages. Though this would devastate a more joyful person, it means nothing to her.

Still only in a bra and panties, she attempts to think of what the days events will consist of. Will she see her gorgeous cousin? Is the craft store still an appealing thought? All the sudden thoughts of wishing there was a time machine that could take her back to a time when women wore beautiful corsets with long flowing skirts, a time when they used old English and vampires were waiting to feast, a time where she often felt she belonged. She is a gothic young woman, color barely exists in her wardrobe.

Yearbooks from the sixth grade lay next to her bed. Each one holding relatively different looks of her. This isn’t just because she was growing up, she changed. Once a long curly blond slowly changes to straight blonde, to short blond, to multicolored, to brunette. Though her hair is now a few different lengths that red and black, she doesn’t think of it as “blood red, or black like her soul.” They happened to be two of her favorite colors, popular for giving her a calmer sensation. More relaxed and dark. You do whatever makes you feel most comfortable when in lost in such a place of darkness.

A good day awaited her, though she was somewhat blind to some of it. However, new speakers and a few well spent hours with her wonderful cousin was successful with in bringing out the sun just a little. When arriving home, she was excited to get her new speakers in action. Not long after, she was in the car with her mother going to therapy.