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This Too Shall Pass
When I was 14 I came into contact with my father whom I hadn’t had a relationship with since I was five. It was amazing in the beginning, however as time went by, I began hiding a dark secret: my father was molesting me. After eight months of the abuse my mother found out and went to the police. The police interviewed me, but I was so scared that I would lose him that I didn’t tell them anything. I felt like I was betraying the family, because family is supposed to look after and protect each other; however I felt like I was doing the complete opposite. That very same day, the officers that interviewed me went to talk to my father who admitted nonchalantly that the accusations were true. My father was arrested, and the police forbid me to have any contact with him until his sentencing hearing where I would read my victims impact statement. I have bi-polar disorder and during those eight months my father took me off of my medication so that I would be easier to brainwash and control.
After he was arrested, I began to feel alone, scared, and very confused. I would have moments of freaking out where I would hurt not only myself, but others as well. It wasn’t just physically, but also mentally. I was paranoid of going outside for fear of him coming to find me, and I would wake up every night screaming and crying from the nightmares that I had of him. I began to self-mutilate, and I even attempted to commit suicide more than once. I was admitted to multiple psychiatric facilities in the state of Pennsylvania because I couldn’t keep myself safe. I even spent my fifteenth birthday in a hospital.
As for my schooling during the next two years, I attended a partial program. I couldn’t go back to my old school because when my classmates found out about the abuse they teased me and made fun of me until I broke down in front of the entire school. They even made up songs about me, I basically had nobody. Even some of the teachers would let the bullying go on right in front of their face. After the two years of being in the partial program, I decided on going to a different school where nobody knew me. I joined the field hockey team, and instantly had many friends that stick up for me if someone were to make reference to what happened. I was even awarded the Medallion which is an award for being a leader to classmates and for the community. I have been attending my new school for two years and they have been the best two years of my life. I can’t wait until June 2011 when I proudly walk across the stage and accept my high school diploma. What an achievement!
Last year I signed myself into a residential treatment facility where I get round the clock support from staff that care very much about my recovery efforts. Things have slowly but surely gotten better. I no longer dwell on the past, but look forward to the future. I believe that I have potential, and I want to dedicate my life to helping others that may have or may not have been in similar situations. I enjoy doing things that a typical teenager would do. I go out for ice cream with friends and I even secured a part time job. I am living proof that anyone, no matter if they are rich, poor, black or white can overcome any obstacle that is thrown their way. I live life to the fullest and I look forward to the opportunities waiting for me in the future.
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