The beginning of something inspiring, and something that would help me get through my hard times, all started in the end of summer of 2009. I was on the computer, on YouTube, when I saw a video titled, “Justin in the studio with Usher!!” under the username ‘kidrauhl’. I clicked on the link and was amazed by the sound coming out of this young boy's mouth. I instantly fell in love, and I actually kept up with a star for once. For the next four and a half years I followed him, keeping up with him. His ups, his downs, success, and struggles.I grew up from being a nine year old girl with no worries to a 13 year old girl with many more things on her mind. I felt like as I got older, I started hearing the meaning behind all his music. Heartbreak, happiness, sadness, anger and love. With his recent album ‘Believe’ he had a song titled ‘Be Alright’. One day I took the time to listen to the entire album..I was cuddled up in bed, iPod in my hand, earphones in, music on full blast. Just me and the music. When ‘Be Alright’ came on, I was surprised by what I was hearing and how much I felt connected to the song. By the middle of the song I broke down in my bed crying. I kept listening to the lyrics, more tears flowed out of my eyes as I cried tears of joy and sadness. It was like as I remembered sad moments from my past, a tear would fall down. As I remembered a sad moment I overcame, a smile appeared on my face, but with another tear following. I felt like with these few simple words, “Everything’s gonna be alright,” that everything really was gonna be alright. I felt closure in my life, and all the sad moments in my life were cured with those few lyrics. And I can’t believe how much those lyrics changed my life. Whenever I feel doubtful, that I don’t belong, or hurt, I just turn on that song, and I truly feel like everything is gonna be alright.

That’s not the only place where my obsession started. My obsession started with watching ‘Camp Rock’ and loving the female character Mitchie, played by Demi Lovato. She was added onto my list of obsessions. Just like I did with Justin, I carried on with Demi’s life: through Camp Rock, Sonny With A Chance, Camp Rock 2, her music career, and also her downhills. Then I remember the day the world found out about her self harm issues and the depression she went through.

My mom called me to the computer, “Hey Becca, come here, look at this.”
“What?” I asked, creeping over her shoulder.
“Look.”
I looked at the screen to see my idol. The website states TMZ, and I find Demi plastered everywhere. Headlines saying, “DEMI LOVATO: Self Harm Issues?!” “Cuts spotted on Demi Lovato’s wrist!?” going on and on. I couldn’t believe what I saw those headlines were. I hadn’t understood exactly everything about cutting, self harm, depression, and all that stuff. All it is a complete shock. I saw the picture after my mom clicked one of the links. I saw Demi wearing a green plaid dress, as she curtsied, showing her wrist, exposing her cuts. I couldn’t actually believe what I was seeing. At first I thought it was some photoshop, a low life loser did to make money, just to cause more rumors in the scene of hollywood. As I learned more, Demi’s nightmare the world wasn’t supposed to know was becoming more and more true.

Months passed, and Demi’s personal business becomes the worlds. I got sick and tired of all the rumors, and the scandals and even the truth... I was still in shock that this was my idol. Demi Lovato. Demi Lovato, depressed, self harm issues, and bulimia? I can’t believe this is happening to the girl who is happy, bubbly, and bright. I didn’t realize any of this. I didn’t realize the meaning behind why she did this, until about 2 years later.

It’s finally hit me. This “pretty” little image every superstar has to live under is never ending. You can’t do anything without getting judged. Getting judged for not even being you. The real you. What ever happened to being yourself? I’m realizing that this is what pushed her to do those things. Trying to be someone you're not, trying to please everyone but yourself, people making you feel like you can’t be yourself. That’s when I realized that this wasn’t okay. For anybody to be treated like this.

Once again, life went on, Demi went on. Fixing her troubles. I went on with that thought of our society in the back of my head.

But then it happened to me. I felt alone, that no one understood me, what I was going through. I was sitting home alone one summer night, on my moms bed, crying. Staring at myself in the mirror, sick of the person I was seeing every time I looked in the mirror. I was having a break down. I was home alone. My brother was deep in the basement making music as usual, my mom was at my grandmothers house, trying to overcome her anxiety. I couldn’t take my life anymore. I lost all my friends, had a house fire, 2 grandparents passed away in less than 10 months, all in about a year. I was breaking down. I couldn’t take life anymore, and everything it was throwing at me, and my family. It killed me that summer watching my mom suffer through anxiety, and the fact that I was starting to get it too, it was eating me away.
I looked up at the T.V and there was Demi. I un-muted the T.V and payed close attention to the current video playing on MTV’s AMTV.

There was Demi, singing her newest single, ‘Skyscraper’. As I heard, “Do you have to make me feel like there’s nothing left of me,” and the other emotional lyrics, I heard that it was everything I had gone through the past 2 years. That moment I felt connected to Demi. As if she was singing this, to me. I stared into her teary light brown eyes, as mine filled as well. I stared back into the mirror and found myself smiling, as tears continued to drop down my face. That night was the night I learned that my life is going to throw things at me, but I’ll overcome it. There’s something to look forward in life.

Ever since Demi’s insane, shocking, breakdown, I learned from her that its not okay to starve yourself, its not okay to self-harm, its not okay to be suicidal, its not okay to bully people, and its not okay to judge people because of who they are. But the 2 most important things I learned is that love is louder than the pressure to be perfect. And that its okay not to be okay.

Truly, these 2 people have changed my life in so many ways. They’ve given me something to look forward to in life. They’ve taught me that I don’t have to be perfect to please everybody. I need to please myself, and be happy with who I am, and not who people want me to be. Before what I realized, I was just simply a mess. I was trying to please others before myself, making sure others were happy with the role I played in their life, instead of me playing the role of my life.

I also learned that it’s not okay to let your wall of being so strong, for so long down, just because you think can’t continue on with life anymore. Because I learned that I am stronger than that, and I can get through what life throws at me. Because I am strong. But the most important thing they’ve taught me is that its not okay to judge people for who they are. It really isn’t. You know their name, but not their story.

Ever since these two people have came into my life I know that I am me, I am strong, and nobody deserves to be put down. Ever.