I hear the phone ring, running up to get it still semi-asleep I put it to my ear feeling the cool feeling of the phone which had not been touched that whole night. I instantly hear sobbing from the unknown caller, I instantly reply, “who's this?”. On the other line was a girls voice which still sounded young saying “ It's Estrella”, I was startled. At that moment I had recalled that one of my best friends girlfriends name was Estrella. Without hesitation I asked her if everything was okay, I will never forget the way she said “Carlos is gone”. Her voice had cracked and all I could hear was the pain in her cry. At the moment my mind had not reacted yet, I thought to myself , “maybe he left her”. I asked her seriously, “Where did he go?” and she replied “he's dead”. The coldness of her answer hit me, my stomach dropped and I felt a knot in my throat I, I couldn’t find words to reply, all there was a brief silence. I didn't stay on the phone very much with her, all she told me that Carlos had taken his life. The only explanation that was logical to them was he had taken his life because his grandfather had passed away and he was a very significant person to Carlos. Many feelings struck that very moment I put the phone down, thoughts came together and the first thought was “he's selfish, he had a kid”. He had a kid that needed his own fatherly figure, that was there with him from day one. Days before I had talked to him and he promised me that he was to take care of his baby. That day I sat there thinking for hours, thinking to myself “why did he do it?”

That same day I received a phone call telling me that Carlos' family did not have enough money to pay for the expenses of the funeral because they had both his and his grandfathers expenses to pay. The next day we did all we could do to raise money for the funeral in less than a couple of hours we raised a thousand dollars. We all felt very proud of our effort and we were happy we could give our friend a descent burial. The first time we gave his family the money, because they were the people who were supposedly the most trust worthy people. His mother had not been the best example but nevertheless it was still his mother. We found out the next day his mother had been misusing the money. The hardest day was here, the day where we were off to see Carlos. I felt nervous, I didn't have the spirits to speak to anyone. Reality finally set in when I set foot inside the location where Carlos was in. When I walked in the smell was strong, the location was looked like a pair of elderly people owned it. The hallway was long and narrow to get to the room where he was in. I walked slowly into the location holding my mothers hand. When I walked into the room I hear the song “No Air” , by Jordan Sparks and across I saw him laying there. He just looked like he was asleep, and my mind was trying to convince me “he's asleep.” You could sense the sadness in the room, you could hear low sobs from everyone. Some people with blank stares just looking down at their shoes trying to contain their feelings and emotions. I remember one of my friends mom asked us if we could pray with her. Carlos had lived with this lovely women for a while since he was her kids best friend. When you looked around the room there was no family members of his, just friends. His family was his friends.

It was time to go to the grave yard. We all waited in the cars for the funeral car to take Carlos to the grave yard. The drive to the grave yard was painfully long, my mind set to “we're putting him to bed”. When we got there you saw a big crowd of teenagers with sad faces all dressed in black. We all walked to where he was going to be buried. There was a whole in the ground it looked deep and cold. His coffin was there closed it looked lonely until the teenagers started surrounding it. A man who was in charge of the funeral said this is last time we're going to view him. When he opened the casket I did not dare to look at him. I would of preferred to live with memories of him alive than him without life. When we walked past the casket I was holding on to my mothers hand, her soft hand was warm and comforting. She saw Carlos grow up around us and I felt her pain through her touch. When I knew that was the last time I was going to get to see him I felt a deep pain in my heart. My friends that were next to me grabbed me and gave me a long comforting hug. I saw the kids that grew up with Carlos, the kids who offered him a home when his family didn't want him there. He had a face of devastation his eyes filled with tears. He gave me hug and all he said was “ I saw us both growing up having our kids and watching them play soccer”. When everyone was done saying everything they had to say about Carlos, it was time to lower the casket. The men who were there started lowering it, but painfully slowly. You could hear the noise of the machine, slow squeaks. My eyes filled with tears, almost wanting to jump and shake him until he was to awake, but that was impossible. All you could hear were sobs of everyone they realized that it was time to let him go.

It was time to put him to bed. His girlfriend grasped onto her child hugging him without a way to be consolable. We all threw flowers into his casket. The flower I was holding onto was extremely light the color vivid with its redness. As soon as I threw the flower into the casket you saw some of petals lightly fall off. The dirt ran through my fingers into the casket and slowly left my hand. The men finished throwing the dirt on top of the casket and covering what was now his home. That day I left empty handed, I left without my friend. That day I realized that you do need your friends and they become your family.