Hasta La Vista

Christmas was only twenty five days away and I was so excited. I turned the radio station to 104.1. I was so ready for this Christmas. the weather was getting crisp and cold. I felt like we were actually going to have a white Christmas as well. My mom pulled to the side of the sidewalk and I kissed her bye. It was my freshman year at Harding and so far I liked it. The homework was piled up, but I had met new people who were nice and chill. I walked to my locker and grabbed my book and binder for Spanish. Karla had asked what I was going to do
that night. My parents had bought tickets to go see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra at the Ford center that night and I explained it to her. Karla had become my best friend at Harding. We had clicked instantly when we met in English class and since then the position of one of my best friends was still filled by her. I had been so excited all day, first because of the concert and second because it was finally December. Something about the Christmas season makes everything so Jolly and beautiful. The day went by fast but I had remembered that my AVID teacher had been eager too because her husband had bought her tickets to go see the Christmas concert as well. Secretly I was hoping that I wouldn’t see her. I had enough of her at school already and seeing her in public would just be overwhelming.

Finally the day ended but sadly Ms. Ingham had made us stay for one last practice until the next semester. I walked out of the gym ready for my mom to pick me up. When I got into the car the first thing I heard was the Christmas music and it made me smile and sort of energized. “How was it?” asked my mom. She always asked me that afterschool and she would get the same answer every day. “Oh you know, it was a blast!” I sarcastically exclaimed. My mother and I had a relationship where we could joke around with each other and yet keep it “sophisticated” like she would say. I felt my phone vibrate on in my pocket and saw that I had a message from Gary. Gary was a senior at Harding. You could call him a hot shot. He was involved in everything and everyone loved him. I had a little crush on him and knew that I had to get over it because he was older than me, but his texting me sure didn’t help with the getting over part.

It was around 5:30 and we were on our way to downtown. My mother was excited but I was very sleepy and it was hard to keep up with her and my little brother’s energy. I hoped that the music would somehow revive my energy so I could actually enjoy the concert. During December Downtown Oklahoma City is amazing! The ice rink is open, Santa rides on his Segway and the Red Hawks stadium is iced out for snow tubing. As we reached the Ford Center my father gave my brother and I our own tickets so we could hand them to the ticket person. Once we took our seats we waited about thirty minutes. Then the instructor came out, greeted the audience, and explained some things about the show. He bowed and exited stage left. The spotlight disappeared and the suspension grew. A violinist began playing softly and slowly began to crescendo. The show began.

“The show was amazing!” exclaimed my mom. She had been very excited to see the show and she was pleased with it at the end. I agreed with and looked down to turn my phone on. As we got in our car and drove around we saw the ice rink and it reminded me of when my cousins Anthony and Mariana went ice skating the year before. We had no clue how difficult it was to actually stay up when you’re not even moving. That night was unforgettable, I will always hold that night dear to my heart because that night we had promised to go ice skating every year from then on together. I had grown up with Anthony and Mariana and saw them not just as my cousins but also my friends. I knew that if I ever had a problem I could go to them, but with Anthony I saw him as a little brother. I teased him like a brother and could goof around with him at any time. He always gave everyone very tight, strong hugs that squeezed your breath out and it would take you a couple of minutes to recover. He always seemed to be so filled with joy and happiness even when something wasn’t right.

As we drove down the highway to go back home my mom’s phone rang but she was too late to pick it up. Then my phone rang and I tried to answer but all I could hear were people talking loudly yet couldn’t understand what they were saying. I hung up and saw that I had missed six calls from my Aunt Maria, Anthony’s mom. I had a couple of voicemails as well but didn’t bother to hear them. My Mom’s phone rang again and she answered. She asked the other person on the other end what hospital we needed to go to. My Mom didn’t say anything and hung up the phone. My Dad looked worried and asked what was going on and I leaned forward to listen. “We need to go to Northwest Expressway; they are across from Life Church. Tina said Anthony was in an accident.” I felt my stomach drop one hundred and twenty floors down. I didn’t know what to think; instead I just hoped that he was alright.

My mother panicked when she saw the flashing red and blue lights from the police cars, ambulance and fire truck. She began to cry and began to murmur some prayer. My dad parked the car in a Long John Silver parking lot and my Mom immediately opened the car door and ran to where everyone was standing. My Dad turned around and told me to stay in the car with my brother. I could see everything that was going on from the front windshield. My mom reached my Aunt Maria. I knew something was horribly wrong. I turned to look at Alex my nine year old brother who looked frightened from all the commotion going on outside of the car. I knew I had to be a big sister at the time and try to comfort him but nothing could be said to comfort anyone at the time. I looked Alex eye to eye said “I don’t know what is going on but please stay in the car for a minute and I will come back. I promise you will be okay.” He nodded and I opened the car door. I wish I hadn’t left the car, I wish I would have stayed with Alex and just waited, that way I would have not seen the smashed bike on the road. I would have not seen the tears that my Aunt Maria was crying, because when I got out of that car my life changed forever. That was my cousin, best friend, little brother’s last night to live.

The emptiness of the house was so claustrophobic. The sun was shining through the windows but yet it was dark cold in the living room. Taking a small step toward the middle of the room felt like I had giant feet, huge oversized clown shoes. My eyes looked at the chandelier that was stuck to the ceiling in hope to find the black shoe lace. Anthony had thrown it up in the air and it became tangled in the lamps and loops of the chandelier. He didn’t try to take it down because he said he liked it there. My eyes saw its dangling figure hooked to one of the lamps. Walking in I had hope to find him. It had been a week after the funeral, one week and three days after his death. I stood at the door of his room. The stickers still pasted on the head board and walls. The puffy snow like comforter still mushed, tangled and tossed like he was in a hurry to get up and start his day. His shoes were tossed to one side. A purple shirt with yellow graphics was thrown half way into the hamper. His room was still the same, like he never left. The bed ready to receive him with comfy and warm arms. My heart ached knowing that he would never be sleeping there again. My mind had so many questions but yet couldn’t even focus on one except for why did it have to be him. I wanted to hear him slam the door closed as he entered his house. Throw his backpack on the floor, hear his alive footsteps come towards the door of the room. I wanted to hear his life take away the silence that filled the house; that filled my heart. I turned around just to see if he was standing behind me, but he wasn’t. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t think about him. I miss his smile, his flippy hair, and the high pitch screams he would let out if he found onions in his Taco Bell burrito. I miss not being able to hug him. Everyday there is something that reminds me of him and that reminds me as well that Anthony is not really gone, it was more like an Hasta La Vista.