I’m sitting on my bed listening to songs that remind me of Jesse. I can’t stop thinking about her, she was the single best dog that I’ve ever had. Yes, she had her flaws like every other dog, but in my heart and mind she was seemingly perfect. Jesse was like the sister I never had, and I couldn’t stop thinking about her. Each song I listened to presented a whole new memory. But each memory just brought more pain, I continue to listen to the songs in agony, but I can’t stop because I can’t just forget about her. I glanced at the clock, it read 9:23 pm. “I can’t believe that she’s been gone for a whole day now” I softly whisper to myself. A single tear rolls down my cheek but I don’t wipe it away. It rests on the bottom of my chin for a moment then splashes on the screen of my iPod. On my wall hangs numerous pictures of Jesse. In one of them she’s eating ice cream and she managed to get it all over her nose. A slight chuckle leaked out of my mouth. That moment is gone now, and I’ll never have another like that with her, but at least I have the memory. I heaved a sigh then rested my head on the pillow. I tried to close my eyes and get to sleep but I couldn’t. My bed is too empty. Jesse is supposed to be lying on the end of it, letting out a snore every so often, letting me know that she was still there, always there. But Jesse wasn’t at the end of my bed. She’s in my backyard, buried, and I’ll never see her shining eyes or hear her comforting snores again. People say hate is a strong word and you shouldn’t use it, but in this case hate is the perfect word to describe the men that hit Jesse with their car. They didn’t even stop after it happened. I squeezed my eyes shut trying to force out those memories. I didn’t want bad memories, only the good ones. But the scene played out in my mind and I couldn’t forget what happened.

The night Jesse was hit seemed completely ordinary before all hell broke loose. I was sitting in the lush grass reading a book. Jesse was lying next to me, panting loudly. Her breath stunk and I can remember thinking that the next day I was going to go to the pet store to get her some doggie mints. They would probably taste like dog treats to her so she would love them. Plus her breath wouldn’t be so stinky. I would never make that trip to the pet store. I shifted restlessly on the grass, it hadn’t rained for a while and it was growing long so it kept poking my legs. Most nights I would bring out a blanket to sit on so the grass wouldn’t poke me but this night that thought slipped my mind. Why did I have to forget that blanket? How could I so stupidly take me eyes off of Jesse? I groaned then stood up. I started to walk inside to snatch a blanket from my room when I saw Jesse struggling to stand up to follow me. It broke my heart seeing her going through all that pain just to stand up. Jesse had hip dysplasia which is a disease that can make it hard for dogs to stand up or walk. I gave her a hand signal to stay, than spoke the word out loud. Jesse was always obedient, but this night she wandered too far. As soon as I walked inside then shut the door, she began to roam the yard. I walked inside then grabbed my favorite blanket. My blanket is soft, it’s made out of cotton and it has a wide variety of blues splashed on it. My grandma gave it to me for one of my birthdays, I love it since blue is my favorite color. I smiled remembering the moment I unwrapped it. I didn’t realize then how much I would grow to love it. Only later would I hate that same blanket. I walked back outside with the blanket in my hands and carefully shut the door behind me. My mom doesn’t like it when I slam doors so I always make a big show of shutting them quietly. When I looked over the yard, I didn’t see Jesse at first. But then I found her. I wish I hadn’t seen her to witness what happens next. Jesse was standing in the street, almost blending in with the asphalt. I saw headlights quickly approaching her. The car was going way faster than 20 mph which is the neighborhood speed limit. I was frozen, everything slowed down as my mind made the connection. Jesse in the street + speeding car = …. I screamed her name as loud as I could “JESSE!” I knew it would be too late though. Jesse gazed at me with her voluminous eyes. As soon as our eyes met I wanted to look away and run to her at the same time but I couldn’t. My eyes and whole body was locked in place. I squinted my eyes trying to force them shut but I still saw everything. The car hit her with full force. I heard the thud of her body against the pavement. Everything started to move in normal motion now and the car screeched away. Horror washed over me and I sprinted for Jesse. My whole body felt cold and suddenly my head was spinning, everything was swirling around me. I faintly heard my mom call for me. As soon as reached Jesse I collapsed on the ground next to her. Her whimpers resounded in my head and I couldn’t even think straight. She wasn’t moving at all except for the blink of her eyes and the rise and fall of her chest from breathing heavily. The first tears of many began to form in my eyes. I caressed her head and scratched her behind the ears, her favorite spot. Suddenly my mom appeared next to me. My eyes pleaded with her to do something, but we both knew that it was too late for Jesse. Not even a veterinarian could save her. The tips of my fingers were in a pool of something warm and sticky. In the fading light I could make out that it was deep red. I realized what it was and screamed than began sobbing into my mom’s shoulder. My mom didn’t know what to do so she grabbed the blanket from my hands then covered Jesse with it. “So she doesn’t get cold” my mom explained. The blanket was soon soaked with blood. I could smell the blood, I’ll never forget that musty, putrid stench. My mom just stared down at Jesse with sorrow in her eyes. “We need to take her to a vet” I cried out “We have to save her. DO SOMETHING!” I felt her arm wrap around me, a meager attempt to comfort me. I stared down at Jesse and she stared back at me. She released one last whimper then sighed. “Jesse? JESSE!” I screamed her name shook her but she wouldn’t move. There was nothing that could be done now. Jesse was gone.

The scene finished its course in my mind and I was left shivering. My piercing screams just a memory, but they still echoed in my head. I buried my head in the pillow. I couldn’t get rid of the memories. Then suddenly came an idea. “I can go visit her grave, just for a little bit. Put a couple of flowers on it.” I spoke to myself trying to calm down. I walked down the hall heading towards the backdoor. I almost walked right past the office but I glanced in the room. I did a double-take than quietly walked in. Jesse’s wide eyes almost seemed to glow and when she saw me her tail wagged swiftly. I smiled and I was so happy to see her. I laid down next to her with a huge grin on my face. I closed my eyes then buried my head in her fur and fell asleep, not even questioning how or why she was there. That night I dreamed that I was with Jesse. She had found tons of friends at this place called Rainbow Bridge. Dogs of all kinds roamed the land here. There were also cats, lizards, horses, any type of pet, you name it. Every single animal got along with each other. There was no fighting between them. I’ve heard tales of this place before. It’s where deceased pets go and wait, eventually they will be reunited with their owner then they cross the bridge together and they’re never separated again. Jesse was happy here, and she didn’t mind waiting for me to return. For a while we played Frisbee, running back and forth. Then we ate ice cream together like in the picture on my wall I used a napkin to wipe the excess ice cream off her nose. The weather was perfect. It was sunny but not too hot and there were only a few clouds in the sky. Suddenly, Jesse ran over to the bridge than sat by it. She was ready to wait decades for me to return to her. I tried to run to her but I couldn’t. Our time together was over. I woke with a start. I sat straight up and looked around. The sun shined through the windows making the room look bright and welcoming. When I remembered what happened I felt sad because I knew that I wouldn’t see Jesse for a long time. But I was also thankful that Jesse had shown me where she was. Jesse was happy and she was with lots of friends. She didn’t have any problems walking or standing. I would see her and be with her again, but not now, one day. Jesse was truly in a better place.