My life is easy, as easy as any foolish 8 year olds’ life should be, it consists of struggling with my gameboy addiction, still living with the belief that I can float from a reoccurring dream that I suffered from when I was five, and dreaming of becoming a Russian spy but not revealing it to anyone just in case I became one. I was drifting through my simple ordinary life until I stumbled upon the day that changed my life forever.

I was sitting in the black computer chair; it would screech a terrible hair rising voice whenever I moved an inch in it, the one that smelled of all the ramen noodles I’ve spilled on it of the previous years, when the ad crashed into my eyesight. The lights of the ad rapidly danced across my face piercing my poop colored eyes, but yet I did not blink. The bulky vibrant block letters screamed at me, they were adjacent to multiple pictures of youthful foxy women that were just reveling a little too much of their skin.

“Are you lonely? Stop wasting your precious time and order a hot Russian mail bride today!”…….Wait …. My mom is Russian, she’s drop dead gorgeous. By now I started to connect the dots in my mind, working in a line of consciousness. She only knew my stepdad for 2 years, marrying so fast. Sweet baby Jesus, my mom is a mail order bride! Now at the time I suspect that any kid at the age of 8 would freak out and lose their mind, but I wasn’t just any kid. So now I reveal to you one of the most interesting stories of my dull life, that when I was only 98 months old for a while I lived with the belief that my mom was a mail order bride.