Two years ago I auditioned for ECB, which for me was a fairly big leap for me to take. Before the audition I had been told everyone was to get accepted, it was just a matter of level placement, but me being me, I decided that if anyone was not going to get it in, it would be me, and I really didn’t want to be that “one percent.” I mostly thought that because two Being a pessimist I assumed the same thing would happen with ECB. I would constantly check the website looking at the guidelines for the audition, and I would also obsessively consult my friends who’d auditioned and participated in the program last year, about what the process was.

The day of the auditioned unexpectedly I wasn’t really nervous, well I mean I was, but not the “type of nervous” where you feel like you’re about to have a heart attack. Being an obsessive compulsive twelve year old I re did my hair about thirty times and changed my leotard about five times, as well as setting my alarm for like six or something really extreme considering the audition was in the afternoon. I don’t remember much about the car ride to the studio, but I’m guessing I was probably pretty relaxed… yeah, no, probably not.

When I got there I didn’t see any of my friends or classmates which made me feel uncomfortable and lost, but I did see was about 10 girls who all look like they could be straight from the Kirov. The studio was really big, and overwhelming compared to the one I go to. There was a main office, a huge studio, and other offices for staff.

Eventually my friend and her mom arrived, I remember trying not to be awkward or nervous, so I tried my best at small talk, talking about things such as what the program’s like, or how “cute” the other girl’s, auditioning, leotards were.

Around this time of year we had just received our company’s Nutcracker dvd, and I had told my friend she had done an amazing job, which is true she looked like she could be a professional, and then she blurts out about how terrible she look, and how she like messed up everything. This threw me off, because looking back I thought I had done absolutely horrible, so seeing her an extremely talented dancer complain that she looked bad made me, a more average dancer (at the time) feel like there was no hope for me, and that I might as well leave now.

Unfortunately that wasn’t possible my ride had left, and the artistic director had called us into the studio. there were barres pulled into the center of the room, I went to chose one closest to the mirror, but nope another girl had pushed her way in front of me, okay so obviously theres no hope now right? I ended up on the back barre with several girls being in the front of me, yup I knew it at this point why even try, me the shortest one there couldn’t be seen.

Finally we were called into the center, which was terrifying because I had just adjusted to camouflaging in the back. Naturally I ended up in the first group, so I had no idea what was going on I felt like a confused dog chasing a laser pointer. But then after the combination we were to put on our pointe shoes, and this girl came up to me and said I had really good jumps, and beats, and she also said she liked my leotard, so this was sort of my “turning pointe” (yes the pun was intended). By then I was like okay, “I’m just going to own this” I felt really confident which to a non-dancer seems like something you should be ashamed of, but I was just going to go with it. I mean if it means going to dance for a whole month of summer and taking master classes vs. sitting home alone watching Netflix, I thought I should at least try.

After what seemed a lot less than an hour, Mr. Kaiser called everyone who auditioned into his office area. I was fairly certain that I’d get in, just because I don’t think they turned many people down, but just to be for sure I made sure I stayed to see if I had made it. There were a ton of eager and impatient dancers waiting around the table, and students who actually attended the school leaving, or eating lunch, it was hard to see or hear what was going on. After the crowd dispersed Kaiser said we had all made it and that level placement should be emailed out in the next few weeks, I was so relieved that I wasn’t one of the few they sent away.

At the end I realized if I hadn't gone in with an attitude that of a pessimist I probably would have done better, and enjoyed the experience more.