A Winter’s Wind

It's the age of new adventures where you strive for freedom and somewhere along the new path you're trying to carve you manage to lose sight of the people who should mean the most. That's where I was.

The Canadian mountains stretching out across the horizon, their tips gathering the free falling snowflakes. Our laughter interrupted the placid nature as we came around another corner. insults and jokes flew between us. Where most people would take offense, we saw the love in our friendly bullying. My skies glide freely, the way I long to, on top of the fresh powder. The run stretched out winding through the narrow path between the dense, pale painted pines. I remember crossing the border the day before, the feeling of being released from all the rules and restrictions of my life. Here in the mountains I was free to adventure without being reminded of my boundaries. I could practically hear parent’s voice in my head tell me “You can’t, because I love you too much.” there was none of those people here, when I crossed that border I meant to leave that behind. But as I became consumed in my thoughts and amazed by the exceptional amount of beauty surrounding me I noticed my ski get caught too late, the other one twisting underneath me. My head smashed down into the fresh snow, which did very little to cushion my fall. The stream of insults about my fall stopped when my friend realized I didn't get back up. she slid down next to me quickly unstrapping her bindings.
"Are you okay?" the sarcastic tone had left her voice. "can you move?" I nodded to reassure her I was fine. I looked around me and saw that I must have ripped off my helmet, gloves, and half my coat in panic when I fell. I went to sit up, trying to re-zip my coat but where my arm was suppose to move all I got was shearing pain in its' place. I shook my head frantically, never in my life has my body denied me like that, refusing what I tell it to do. The feeling of being helpless in my own body.
"I can't move." I tried again but the same pain came back.
"Should I get help?" She was already strapping back on her bindings. The thought of staying alone until ski patrol came made me shudder. We were in the woods far back from the lodges and patrol buildings. With all the small cliffs and pine trees we wouldn't be easy to find.
"No don't leave, I'm fine." I tried again to get up thinking for some reason the outcome would be different the the third time. Alicia had stopped putting on her snowboard and now just watched me carefully debating what the right thing to do would be. "i'm fine" I say again but the truth was I couldn't feel my arm at all it was completely numb other than the striking pain that came from trying to move it. "Actually go get help." She started again to put her snowboard on. "No wait don't leave!" It was clear I wasn't any help. Luckily a group of skiers came around the corner and nearly hit us. Alicia took the opportunity and asked them to send help once they were at the bottom. Over the next two hours she sat with me in the snow that still fell and when we looked down at my shaking hands and realized they matched the color of the cold blanket covering us I began to panic but Alicia continued to make me laugh and did her best to keep me calm. She started to point out the positives this would bring, that we were forced to stop and see the beauty that the world around held, the flakes that gracefully land on fallen trees and the wind that stirs up the the already fallen flakes, giving them a second chance to fly. It holds this beauty every day, whether we slow down enough to see it or not.
The ski patrol came two and a half hours later and strapped me to a stretcher. They reassured me that I was fine as they tied wool blankets and tarps around my shaking body with bungee ropes. One of the ski patrollers, Scott, turned and addressed Alicia. "You can go down to the patrol building, we will meet you there it will take a while to get her to the bottom."
"I'm going to stay if that's alright." I heard her say as she picked up her board and put it under her arm. They had to walk me down because of the drop offs and narrow paths but Alicia walked beside the stretcher the whole way. When we finally made it to the bottom of the mountain almost an hour later my body had stopped shaking and was now making large jerking movements that didn’t do anything but hurt but just like the shakes I couldn't control it although I wished more than anything for it to stop. As we approached the patrol building another person in a bright red coat strapped what I was told later was an oxygen mask to my face as they directed me in how to breath, one of the simplest skills that even an infant can learn, I seemed to have forgotten. Through the gap it made it the blue tarp that crinkled as the crisp canadian wind blew I caught a glimpse of the picture between the foot of the mountain and the building. A small group that I had come across the border with, standing huddled close together their faces were bright red showing me they had been outside as long as I have. Their worried looks uncovered the love that kept them there. I had no choice, I couldn't move, I had to stay in the freezing temperatures as the wind blew my body into a state of shock. They could move, each one of them had the ability to go inside and stay warm. Even Alicia could have went for warmth when it was offered to her but they all stayed because they chose to stay. The love that each one of them had was stronger than any winter's wind and the best part was, it had been there the whole time.