Dear mother,

When people ask me about how we’re doing, it’s hard for me to say everything is okay when everything is not okay. When people ask me about Dad I try to act like it’s nothing, but we all know it’s not anything small.

I’ve always wondered why I was different, why I understood things those other little kids my age didn’t understand, why I could have conversations with adults and understand. I had to be there for you to be strong and help take care of the girls while you had to work. We did have Joe, but he was sleeping all day because he had to work nights. I had to be there to tell Courtney that daddy’s not coming back. I had to be the one to explain to Shelby that Grandma was mad at mommy because she missed daddy and didn’t like Joe because he was sleeping in daddy’s bed and driving daddy’s truck. I had to grow up at six years old because of the choices you both made. I used to be mad at you for this, but I realized that situation was out of your control.

I forgive you for not giving me the love and attention I needed at six as well as several years after that. I forgive you for focusing on what you needed you were young it wasn’t fair for you to have to deal with me so young. I forgive you for telling me to go to hell when you were angry, and all those harsh words that have been said. I forgive you for loving Joe more than you love me, I know you need him. I can’t be mad at you for mistakes that I’m sure to make in the future.

I would like to apologize for running away. I haven’t made things easy for you, especially in the last few years. If I could go back I wouldn’t change anything though. Everything that happened was for a reason to teach us both lessons. If only people knew how much we have gone through together, they would understand our relationship better.

Once again I am grateful to have you as a mother and I know I need to think about everyone’s needs and not just mine. Everything that has happen has affected everyone different. I will respect that. I love you very much, don’t ever forget that. I think about you more than you know and I wouldn’t be as strong as I am today without you.

Love,

Brittany