I’ll never forget the day my family and I received some of the worst news we could have ever expected. My mom picked up my sister and me from school crying. That’s when she told us that my uncle, her brother had died. I didn’t even know what to or say and it was just a long sad ride home. The next few days’ flowers poured into our house like rain. Our house stayed quiet and I couldn’t even imagine what my mom, her sister, and parents were thinking. My uncle was my closest family member to me and even though I was still in elementary school I remembered everything about him perfectly and even our last phone conversation just a few days before that of him promising to take me to the alpine slide the next time I would see him. It took me a long time to go to the alpine slide again after that and all of our old favorite places we used to go to.

It all didn’t even seem real to me. It was the first funeral I had ever been to and I would have never expected how it was and it would impact me. Seeing all of my family in such sadness and hurt was horrible. Even the little things about that day still haunt me. The main song they played, I will never let be played around me. The voice of my aunt trying to make about her speech about her little brother, how my mom couldn’t even make her way up, and how my grandma couldn’t even get her face to look up at anything all still stick in my mind.

A few short months after my uncle’s death happened I remember my mom having to sit down my siblings and me to tell us that my grandparents were getting a divorce after 30 years of being married. It’s crazy how a tragic event can actually break up a family. With the depression of my whole family still hanging on, slowly everything just kept getting worse. It really just tore them apart and was just way too much for them to handle. Soon after that my mom and her sister quit talking and my grandma went into a downward spiral and started compulsively gambling. Nothing in our family felt right anymore. Through it all, my family and I just kind of went with it to support my mom. I always knew there was something more to the story, but I guess I just never asked. I still don’t know why I never found out the truth behind the real story earlier, but a few years later I finally found out how my uncle died and what I was never told.

When my uncle Scott first died my mom just told me he had a bad heart and it just couldn’t keep up with him. Naturally I believed it because I didn’t know what else it could have been, he was only 29 years old and nothing ever seemed unhealthy about him. But the real sorry behind his death was unexpected – he was addicted to drugs and drugs had eventually killed him. When my mom told me that I was in complete shock and so many questions were flying through my head. Why I was never told this? What was he on? How long was he on it, and why was he doing drugs in the first place? I was so confused and it really affected me. I guess everyone just thought I was too young to understand which I probably was, but honestly they didn’t know a lot about it either. They thought he was on crack and cocaine but they really don’t know exactly what it was or how long he was on it.

It really changed my perspective on life after that. To not even realize that I was slowly watching my uncle practically kill himself didn’t seem right. Most of my family didn’t even know what he was doing or why he was upset with his life because he lived in a different state at the time, but you would still think they saw some signs of what he was doing. But I think that’s why it put such damage on my family. It was such a big shock to everyone and so unexpected I feel like everyone thought they could have done something different to help him or put a stop to it. I personally don’t think they could have done anything to stop him or get help and I also don’t think he ever thought he would die from it.

Having a family member die of drugs really changes what you think about drugs, alcohol, and everything that people do that’s bad for them and could potentially kill them. I feel like most people don’t ever think they would die from something like and it would never happen to them but it happens every day. In high school you’re surrounded by drugs and alcohol no matter where you go. I never thought it was a big deal until the harder drugs like cocaine started coming up in people’s regular weekend conversation. It actually terrifies me that people are doing these things so often and aren’t even paying attention to what their outcome might be in doing these drugs. The even more scary part is that most of the time they don’t even realize how bad it is until one of their friends get really hurt or dies. Once you watch it all happen for yourself everything of what you thought about drugs and alcohol completely changes. I wouldn’t have ever expected to get so much and learn from a family member dying of drugs, especially in high school. It really changes what you think of your friends, their choices, and how important it is to not fall under peer pressure. It has really made me more aware of everything around me because without the thought of him in the back of my head, I probably wouldn’t be thinking of everything that could happen to me. I can’t imagine having to put my family through such a bad thing again. I also realize how easy it is for parents not to know what their kids are doing either.

It’s really scary how easy it is to make bad choices. Even though I had to learn the worst way possible, I’m glad I could at least get something from it and know that even though it might seem fine and fun at the time, it’s actually life threatening and causes so much harm and a lot more bad then good later on in life. I would hope no one would ever have to be that little girl and her family sitting in a church for a funeral because of drug abuse again.