Honeysuckles. They used to grow in her backyard. Every year they would blossom and we'd suck the nectar from the flowers. The taste was so sweet and incredible. I never thought I'd miss it so much.

I remember a trampoline all year round, open for all. Open, for every activity imaginable! The sound of the springs still rings in my ears. I never thought I'd miss it so much.

I remember a pool in summer, it wasn't small and it wasn't big. It was just right, for us to fit. The cool water against my skin. Games we played, pretending to be underwater creatures. I never thought I'd miss it so much.

Your house was so big, too big at times. Hours hiding on a shelf in a closet, waiting to be found. Listening for your voice. Fighting because, you had given up looking for me. I never thought I'd miss it so much.

I remember being ripped apart. Two big brawny men, getting in the way of our perfect friendship. I remember my last day in that big neighborhood of yours. I had cried so hard. I wonder if you knew that. I stood outside your front door, waiting like an idiot. I never thought I'd miss it so much.

You cried the whole time like a baby. It was okay though, I didn't laugh or make fun of you. Not this time. Because I knew what those tears stood for. Words were spoken. One sentence burned into my memory. "I'll never let you go" was what you said. I didn't believe you, I'm sorry. I wanted to, but I didn't, I couldn't. I thought you were lying.

I was so used to that big brawny man ripping things away. When things were just within my grasp, that man stepped in took it all back. So, it was hard to believe you, because I was afraid of that big brawny man. My father the big brawny man.

Your tear stained face, the sight was unbearable. You had never hugged me so much. I didn't know you were so sensitive. I didn't know you loved me so much. I never thought I'd miss it so much.

Now, life is quiet, too quiet. I know you're just a call or text away. I finally believe you too, and you're not giving up on me. I saw a movie with you after 2 years of not even seeing your beloved face. I thought we'd be award, but it was like the time between us wasn't ever real. You were still you, and it made me feel so warm inside. I never thought I'd miss it so much!

We talked like normal, and walked like normal. Even you're wondrous laugh hadn't changed. I never thought I'd miss it so much!

You're smile lit up my day and I re-memorized every crease it made on your face. I re-memorized the way you looked, every major and minor detail. I never thought I'd miss it so much!

Our conversations were the same! Although the subject changed, the atmosphere didn't. Just like before, we nonchalantly giggled through sentence after sentence. I never thought I'd miss it so much!

When we said goodbye, my heart sank. You saw it in my eyes, and you said "Best friends don't say goodbye!" I felt the corners of lips turn upward, as if they were reaching for the sun. All at once I could feel the pressure, sadness, and fear erase. I laughed a true laugh for the first time in a long time. A hug farewell and a wave a hand. I never thought I'd miss it so much.

I haven't seen her since, the big brawny says its for the best. The big brawny man tells me she doesn't really care. The big brawny man may even be right. I know the big brawny man just wants to protect me. I realize that. However the facts remain:

"I'll never let you go" & "Best friends don't say goodbye!" Words burned into my mind. I never thought I'd miss her so much.