Oh.my God! I could not believe it! After all these years of suffering from "childhood amnesia", I remembered something! But this something was awful - a terrible truth. It haunts me at night and preys on me when I'm alone. It makes me wake up in the middle of the night screaming, "Almooooost!" .

I was about eight by then, I don't remember so I assume and I was the "It" girl, the nerd who was adored by everyone who knew her, but I was still just a kid was naive and devoid of any idea about the real world. Like every child in the world, I lived in a fantasy weaved with security, love and happiness. I think it was burst that night but the childhood amnesia grew into me and I forgot all about it until now.

I was about eight at a friend's party. We have secrets of our own, one that will not be revealed to the world, but it makes us feel awkward when we meet now that we live in different neighbourhoods. It was about 18:30 but no one was really worried and the party was still in full blast. My friends and I were standing outside talking about God-knows-what. There was this dude passing (well, at least, he was supposed to) but he stopped and asked for directions. He still couldn't get it and requested that one of us went along with him since we knew the neighbourhood so well. He'd give a parcel to his friend and then return me to the party safely. Stupidly, I offered.

We got to his destination and he asked me to wait for him a few metres away, so I did. He returned saying the person he was bringing the parcel to wasn't home, but there was a twist. He carried me on his back and assured me he was returning me to the party. He didn't. Instead, he took me to a dark, uncompleted building and laid me on the ground. He forced me to agree to marry him in future and said I was his queen, but I had grown scared. This guy was a stranger, he was supposed to take me back to the party which was not in sight, he was forcing me to say weird things that kids should not even think about and why in heaven' name were we in a dark, uncompleted building? The evening breeze kissed my skin and the goosebumps born from fear increased.

"Say that you love me," he whispered to me, but at this rate, I was too afraid. Only one word escaped my lips, "No."

He was angry, I knew, which made me more scared, but I didn't want to give in, I wasn't going to give in. I just wanted to go home. He repeated his command and I refused again. He stomped about in a rage and then left me all alone in the building.

I was beyond scared. My heartbeat was echoing loudly in my ears and tears were running down my cheeks, tickling their way down but I recovered quickly. I am strong-willed, a character some adore and others detest. I just wanted to go home, to get away from this place. I even screamed, "I love you!" so that he'd return for me but he didn't. Many dead ends later, I found an opening and looked just quickly enough to see his silhouette disappear in the bushes.

I ran in the opposite direction, trying to recall the route he'd taken to bring me to the building. Twigs snapped under my feet and creatures dove into the bushes at the sound of my footsteps making me wonder if there were any snakes too, but I was too busy repeating "Home" under my breath to care. I arrived at a house where people recognised me by the name of my parents. When I told them my story, they laughed. They, still, tried to find my predator but they couldn't find him. Besides, due to the dark, I wouldn't recognise him either.

I got home but I felt lonely. My mom was away and my brother was out. Only my sister was home studying for a test and she was mad at me for stupidly following a stranger. The grown-ups at the party laughed too and my friends were a little sympathetic. Even my mm laughed when she heard the story.

It makes me realise that this could be the source of my fear to let people closer. I've always been scared of saying "I love you" and trusting people - even my best friend. Maybe this is the root of my inability to open up... because I know people will laugh at my vulnerability and my friends will have it forever etched on their memory. People think I'm strong and detached but I'm not. I do not know a lot about my childhood but I do know that all my experiences have led to me being who I am - both good and bad.

My name is Yolanda and I was r***d... almost.