With all the knowledge I have now, I understand that looking back into the past is harmful, sure, but in the same breath it’s welcoming.   I am in the third grade, I am big and small, shy and friendly.  I know not of the future but only the present and I know nothing of the fact that if I talk to a kid then that we will grow up together and become great friends, or the saying “Hard work pays off” is true and that I will excel if I follow that motto. You see soccer became my door to the future, it gave me goals and friends.  Through the door there was good times and great people. This affected even to this day, and that one day will truly be one the best and worst day of my life by far.

Good ol’ spring, cool breeze flowing through the air, trees regaining their leaves and the grass dancing to the wind, and to our feet.  It was the travel soccer tryout day, and I knew no one.  Although I probably wasn’t the only one, I still felt alone.  There were groups of people ranging from outgoing kids to shy, held back ones.  I was shy enough to not really talk but friendly enough to reply to someone if they talked to me, thank god. I don’t think I ever got the butterflies as bad as that day; every time I walked I could feel it, my stomach churning on itself, taunting me as if it were saying “Go ahead and sprint, you’ll be headed to the bathroom anyways.”  The worst part was the butterflies, they were batting their wings, bouncing off the lining of my abdomen at the speed of light.  So much so in fact that I spent at least 10 minutes suffering in the restrooms. One drill I literally spent 20 minutes in the commode and upon my return I see that my group is gone; the expression on my face was similar to McCauley Culkin in Home Alone. I wasn’t very good at soccer at the time either so I imagine it was amusing to watch me swing and miss about a hundred times. We tried out at the Shawsheen Field, a huge field with two 11 v. 11 fields, around four 6 v. 6 fields and three 8 v. 8 fields; a monstrous field surround by a picket fence of pine and oak trees.  The first year I made the C team but how could I be disappointed, I mean after all, I spent more time kicking bathroom floor then I did soccer balls.  But I met a few of my best friends on that team.  Quinn is one of my friends that I’ve played with for my life basically. You see, the reason we became friends was because the one thing we had in common was our long hair. From that time i gradually became better and gradually made more friends, going from the C team again to B and then ultimately, I arrived at the A team to then play for three years on that team and by then, I was friends with everyone.  Reversing time I can put together small fragments of that day, like that cool breeze brushing off my young oblivious face.  With the wisdom I’ve obtained, I’ve realized I can appreciate my past pain.  I love playing on that large patch of grass.