Confidence does not come easy to everyone; it’s not innate. To some people it comes with hard work and dedication, but with me it has always lagged, it has always been very hard to distinguish. It took a long process to start realizing that confidence is a sense of fulfillment and to feel this way I had to believe in myself and take risks. During seventh and eighth grade cheer I was yelled at for doing the wrong thing, never for trying the right. I was shut down because I wasn’t the same as everyone else; I wasn't good enough. I never got the chance to improve or show improvement, but instead I was pushed off to the side; overlooked and alone. Quitting was never an option.
   My freshman year Clarkston Cheer got a new coaching staff right before the beginning of tryouts. Once I heard the thrilling news, I thought to myself, this is my time to prove myself, to lay everything I have out on the table with no regrets. Of course I was scared, I have never tried out for something before, but I was already numb to the feeling of failing and getting let down. I already expected the worse without giving myself a chance. Tryouts proceeded and I felt nauseous; the feeling wouldn’t go away and it became even more prominent when I performed in front of both coaches with a group of people. This feeling was unnatural, but it made me strive to do better. During the performance, I punched my motions hard so that my cheeks would jiggle, I moved with clean transitions so not one foot was out of place, and I tightly stuck every skill so there was no room for errors. This definitely was the best performance I have ever executed, but it seemed everyone around me performed just as well. Once the big performance was finished, tryouts were done and I really wasn’t sure how I did or if the coaches even perceived my effort. I remember the sweat dripping down my face, the cramping up in my stomach when I was sitting with a circle of girls waiting upon the coaches to talk to me. Finally, the moment was here when Coach Markey pushed open the old blue doors to the gymnasium and uttered,
   “Alyse we’re ready to talk to you.” I jumped up onto my feet, with thoughts
rushing through my head. I kept thinking to myself, this is it; this is the end of what I worked so hard for. Whatever happens now doesn’t matter because I tried my hardest. Then, I walked through those old blue doors into a hallway of flickering lights. I turned into the athletic office where the coaches were assembled for my meeting. Coach Markey then pulled me to the side and sat me down in a yellow plastic chair. It squeaked when I approached it, and made the butterflies in my stomach even worse than they already were. I crossed my legs and then glanced up to Coach Markey when she asked me “How do you think your tryout went?” It took me a few seconds to think about that question, mostly because I have never been asked how I felt about myself as a cheerleader. With confusion of the question I didn’t know how to start my response then words started jumbling out of my mouth,
   “I think I tried my best, but I know I have a lot of room for improvement.” She nodded her head in agreement, and furthered to tell me her feedback on how she thought my tryout went. This was the first time anyone has ever gave me insight on my progress, especially with it being all positive remarks. I finally felt like I did something right, and someone else noticed besides me. Then the powerful words I will forever remember as a cheerleader came out of her mouth,
   “Alyse I am very proud of you and I think you would be an amazing addition to our Varsity Cheer Team.”
   Those words, those very words changed me forever. After that was said, I started to believe in myself more, giving myself more credit than I have before. I was one of the five freshmen who made it on Varsity, and that proved I was good enough for the coaches and the team. From there on I started to gain more confidence in myself. Although I became more confident, it didn't mean I had an overwhelming sense of confidence in everything. I just started learning more about myself and I was on a team of all older girls that I didn't know, and were so much more experienced than me. This intimidated me to do better and it pushed me to try new things and go out of my comfort zone to prove to them that I did earn a spot on this team, and I intended to keep it. By the end of the season I made a bunch of new friends and I was glad to pursue myself with such a great group of girls. I definitely learned a lot about myself during that one season, and now I can look back and appreciate the people that surrounded me to let that happen.
   Now, after every tryout my coach asks me the same question she did my freshman year. I always think back and remember how unsure I was in answering it, and how unsure I was of myself and my environment. Now, it’s such a relief knowing where I stand and knowing how I can improve myself. I can always confidently say I do my best and will continue to do my best throughout my cheer career. I can accurately answer those questions about myself without having to over think it or trying to grasp for an answer. Because of this I have found my place and can confidently express how I feel about my life and what I do. I’m glad I got to experience this journey because it has improved me as a person and I can feel fulfilled by possessing those life changing moments such as making Varsity Cheer.