When I was at home alone in the silence, I thought about everything that would go on around the world at night and pray for it to get better.  Just listening to the howling of the wind beyond my closed, cold, frosted over window but since the day I got the mind numbing news, that burned through my mind as if it was a volcano erupting, I just couldn’t.. I remember receiving the news like it was yesterday. It started off as a normal family barbeque but that all changed in seconds. Seeing everyone with their lips moving as they spoke, all about the same thing.  I couldn't hear anything they were saying or what they were trying to tell me. I didn't want to listen to them anymore. I didn't want to hear the sentences that was now engraved in my brain. They repeated over and over again., “She has stage four lung cancer. She’s only getting worse.”. Once that happened I broke. My heart shattered into a million pieces, my heart was just like a glass cup getting dropped and breaking slowly into pieces everywhere that could never be put together again just like my memories I could remember the very first time my parents left home to go to a football game. Leaving us with Aunt watching over us making every possible moment filled with joy and happiness. Now, it is our turn to give that to her. Making her as happy as we can. Even though she was in pain, we wanted her to feel nothing but joy. The thought of losing my Aunt, ripped me apart. She was a second mom to me. The next day was a like any sunny summer day, but it wouldn’t be a happy day. Today was the first day my Aunt went into the hospital. The hospital was a sad looking place. I would think that they would want it to look better so they wouldn't have all sadness. why wouldn't they add color why only beige plain and depressing? On the way to the hospital everyone just said not to worry and she will be fine, but that made me worry even more.  As I walked into room 315 where I found her laying there, in pain, in the plain white sheets and remote controlled bed that can be lifted up and lowered. With the smell of rubber gloves that slapped you in the face when you walked in and the beeping sounds of the heart rate monitor. I started to cry at the end of her hospital bed all she said to me was “Don’t worry sweetie everything will be okay, I will be okay.” At that second I wanted to tell her nothing would ever be the same again,. nothing. It ran through my head as if it was a broken record I remember thinking how is she going to survive this, I know she won’t, but please God try and heal her f0r me . Months went by she was still getting worse, but every time I came along to visit her in the same room 315 she would never show that she was in pain. Even though I knew she was in excruciating pain, I could see her eyes water from the pain but never a tear fell. Everyday she still stayed strong enough to hold them in. One day that all changed. She couldn’t take pretending anymore. She couldn’t keep holding back the tears. She just gave up, the tears poured down her red, swelled up face. Seeing her red face reminded me of me everyday when my cheeks are all red from getting stressed out.  Thinking of that it made me wonder if she was stressing herself out to look strong in front of me. I thought I knew everything. She was stressing herself out just for me, but I soon realized nothing was about me anymore. It was about her not being able to take anything or anyone. Seeing her like that I felt pieces of me die inside. I told her not to pretend in front of me because ,to me, it makes everything worse to deal with.. She starts to weep and said “I’m sorry for pretending. But I can’t anymore. To be honest to you I really can’t deal with being sick anymore.” Hearing her say that killed more of my spirit. I never got those pieces back that died. They are still inside of me and always will, they are dead unable to feel anymore. As time went on I tried everyday to be happy, and put a smile on my face and go through the day but as the seconds, minutes, and hours go on I lose the strength to try like my Aunt did. I begin to feel weak, depressed, and no longer able to smile so I do the opposite of that I sit and just let the tears fall just as they did in room 315. I try to be strong like she was on the last days and continue to be happy and help as many people I can to make them happy that's what I learned from her and she helped to find who I wanted to be and who I actually was. Never want to make someone feel like they have nothing to look forward to as I did waiting for that day she would come home from the hospital cured and lived life as if nothing happened. I want to make others feel like they make a difference in the world as my Aunt was to me. The world was a happy place with some rough spots but I thought the world before this was a perfect place that nothing bad happened to anyone that did kind things and never was mean to anyone ever, but I can see that wasn't the case anymore this world can be a cruel unforgiving world that I wish I can change but can’t.