The day that Jacks brother died, I'm not sure that that is a day ill ever fully understand. I think it was about a year and half, maybe two ago. Me and my friend keaton had just gotten back from a bike ride, and we were starving. This was just like every other day, fairly warm but you still needed a jacket, cloudy but the sun would occasionally peek through, it was simply an average day. We had no idea that walking through that door and into keatons house would impact our lives so greatly.

We ventured inside in search of a snack, but what we found was Keaton’s sister Paige talking with Jacks sister Kelsey instead. They didn't seem sad, or angry, they seemed more confused than anything really. Their faces were expressionless as they spoke, their voices were a little higher pitched than usual.  Yet we paid no attention to them because things seemed normal at the time, and we were hungry. We kept on raiding the kitchen and we were about to make some sandwiches when they called us over. We said we were busy and continued ignoring them, not a care in the world. “ You guys need to come here now.” Their tone was calm, but not positive in any way, and it got our attention. We shut up instantly and walked over and as we went over we noticed that things were far worse than we first thought. Me and keaton sat, waiting to find out what happened. If you could have seen the room, you would've seen it split straight down the middle. Two idiots on one side who don't have a care in the world, and two sisters looking as if they've never had a joke.   They spent a few minutes sort of saying vague things, we arrived halfway through their conversation so we had no idea was happening. What they were saying started to make us tense and time starting slowing down and we began noticing that this conversation was going to take a turn for the worse. eventually Keaton lost his patience and interrupted, asking what the h*ll was going on.
“Michaels dead.”
We froze, Keaton and I couldn't even get a word out. We couldn't make sense of what wed just been told. My throat closed up and my mouth repeatedly, desperately trying to make meaning of what was happening. In fact,This caught  us so off guard so much so that we honestly thought they were joking at first, And was a joke that made no one laugh. It took several minutes for what they were saying to actually sink in, but when it did, we sort of froze. The atmosphere grew heavier, It was like the sun dimmed outside and life sort of took a pause for the moment to really sink in. We all got very quiet, and we just sat there, not sure what to do.

I've never experienced someone dying before, and when i learned it was Michael, who was only in his early 20s, it was like a hard punch in the face. It makes you realize that death can hit anyone, anytime, and there is no way to predict it. In fact I almost died once, in a terrifying situation, and i didn't even know. When I was around 2. My father works at the tigers stadium and one day i crawled out onto the balcony were all the TVs are. I was literally a few inches from falling to my death, and i had no clue. I was too young to realize what happened, or what could have happened. Michaels death made me realize that life's fragile, and it can disappear so quickly. I never knew him very well, but i knew that Jack and him were very close and when i learned that he was gone, I could only think of jack and how he was doing. I knew his life would change drastically, no one was going to leave him alone, and i couldn't help, and it was a crushing feeling.   

The following weeks were depressing, we went to school Keaton and I, and people would always ask how jack was doing, and we simply couldn't answer. Often in class Id get really distracted thinking of what I’d say to Jack when i saw him again. I couldn't do anything to help, and that really bothered me, its extremely frustrating when you’re unable to change anything in a situation, but thats how the world works sometimes.

It was two weeks before we saw Jack again, And in those two weeks we were trying to fathom or even come close to figuring out what he was feeling. We could been hit by a truck and not felt the same pain. When we finally saw him, it was at the open casket, in the back room, hiding from the people and the pain. Just in him turning around to greet us, we  realized just how hard the last two weeks must have been on Jack, he looked impeccably calm, in a defeated sort of way. You could tell just by looking at him that he was destroyed underneath. He smiled, but it was never a real smile, he’d laugh, but it was always forced. He had bags under his eyes and the way he sat, slumped in the chair, you cou could tell he was done trying to be brave. Also, in that moment, when i saw him, i realized just how powerless I was to help my friend. I kept thinking, “ Come on Justin, say something, be there for your friend.” Yet I said nothing. I couldn't. Id try to get a word out, but it'd just get caught in my throat, and i'm left unable to make a sound  We all sat together, the friends, we just sat silently, not sure what to say or do, we just sat. after about an hour people began to leave, giving jack hugs and giving their condolences, but i decided to stay a little longer, just to see if i could find a way to not be useless. I sat with jack, trying so hard to think of something to say, anything to help make things better, yet i knew that it was impossible. His brother was literally in the same room as him, just a few feet away and i couldn't change that, and its a terrible feeling. That feeling makes you feel stupid and you just want to leave the problem but you know that thats not an option.  So, i did the only thing I could do in that moment, I talked to my friend. we talked and talked and talked about anything that would take us away from the misery of the room we were in, We even talked about the plant next to us that was in a cage and we made up stories about how the plant was secretly a mutant plant that needed to be contained. It was a stupid conversation, but he laughed. he actually, genuinely laughed, and smiled, and that little chuckle told me i was helping, in the littlest of ways, I made the h*ll slightly less painful for jack. We all wanted to help, me, Keaton, the parents, the sisters, we all wanted to help, and we all wanted to get through it together.
Months passed by and things began to go back to normal, Jack was happier, we were happier, More days were spent looking forward than looking back. Today, I realize that those days really brought us closer as brothers, and it really made me grow up a bit, I know that the world is rough, and I just have to do my very best to live the best life i can.