And suddenly, I realized, up until now, I have not felt real pain.  The pain where, in a split second, your whole world collapses in front of you.  You can feel the specific part where your heart is breaking.  Time goes so slow it actually feels as if it is standing still.  It was one thing when my mom told me through her tears, “Grandpa passed away this morning”, but this is a different feeling.  We all painfully knew he would eventually leave us, but we were not prepared for what was about to come.  Numb, expressionless, shocked, with a flood of emotions and thoughts running through my head.  Should I sit with my sisters and try to protect them from the sadness, or mourn with my grandma and comfort her through this tragedy?  We sit and stare at the casket with the many bouquets of flowers.  So many people impacted by my grandpa ready to celebrate his life.  Seeing all the faces made me think of how I hope to affect and inspire others as he did.  Blank looks, but I can tell everybody’s world, what they once knew, just exploded. It all became real.  During this time, I learned that you can see broken hearts through peoples’ faces.  I remember people telling me, “Look back at all the good memories and times you two shared”, but at this moment, unfortunately, all I could think and feel was sadness.  This overwhelming pain seemed to be taking over my body and I was slowly breaking.  The tight, endless hugs along with uplifting words held me together.  However, I knew when they let go, I would shatter like a broken mirror. Then, I realized, this nightmare was now, my reality.  Fake smiles, real tears, genuine love.  Each family member taking a bright, beautiful, red rose and placing it in the casket.  The continuous tears running down peoples’ cheeks along with the sniffles from sobbing.  Everybody placing a hand on the brown, shiny casket for one last goodbye.  I always thought I was a pretty tough and strong person, however, this time I questioned who I really was and why I was the one crying the most. He always made me and everyone smile, through all this jokes, his charming compliments, and his overall perfect personality. Thinking of all the good and happy times made the terrifying reminder that I will not see him again come back and haunt me.  The amount of times I heard, “He is in a better place now”, and, “This is not goodbye, this is just a see you later”, was mind-boggling.  Seeing them take him in the casket made me feel as if all the memories were fading.  I noticed I do not remember the lasts. The last laugh, the last thing we said to one another, the last hug, the last smile, and the last memory.  When they took him, a piece of me was taken also.  He is the partial reason I am the person I am today.  He made me realize I need to enjoy life more and find good in the little things in life.  Although he was in pain and stuck in an unpleasant place, he always had a smile on his face.  He gave a new meaning to the saying, “Life is good”.