Some day in the distant future, when I sit down and write my memoirs, over half of them would be about my older sister. As the younger sister, I could not use my sister as a role model, or ask her for advice. I realized at a young age that I wanted to be nothing like her. She is a liar, manipulative, lazy, and self centered. These are not the qualities and examples that I want to follow and possess within myself.

I always had a front row seat to watch the show between my parents and my sister. There wasn’t a day that went by that she didn’t lie or try to manipulate my parents, myself, or even just her cell phone. She refused to find a job, or said she had an interview, when she didn’t. The only thing I believed my sister was good at was watching Lifetime movies, drinking soda, and stuffing her face with chips. Many days, I didn’t want to come home after school because the show was getting repetitive. I could not stand the screaming, the tension, and length of the battles. In early June of 2013, just after six o’clock, she walked out of my home and went to live with a friend of hers. That was the night, she officially stopped being my older sister. That was also the night my sister confirmed my feelings about her being my role model. I truly don’t understand her reason for leaving, though she was very impulsive. I was happy to see her go, but at the same time, I was sad. The level of stress in the house diminished but some days, I felt depressed because she was gone and it seemed that there was a hole in my family.

Sometimes, things got so bad, that she tried to come after my parents with objects around the house. I had encountered these experiences with her violence also because sometimes, she would either hurt me with words that she knew were cruel, or physically hurt me. Her attitude would change almost everyday. Some days she would be happy and pretend that everything in her life was perfectly fine. Other times she would just rip into someone and act like her perfect little world was falling apart all around her. My sister thought that everyone in the world has a problem, and that she was perfect. Most of the time, I would just get fed up with her attitude because she acted childish.

Four months passed and she tried to return home again. She sat in my home for three hours, asking my parents to give her a second chance to live at home. In the beginning, I was willing to let her come back because I do believe in second chances. If you make a mistake, you should learn from it and try again. However, as the time passed, I was second guessing myself. She could be manipulating us once again, just so she could have a place to live. She moved back home, but she took off again two weeks later. I was kind of surprised at this because everything seemed to be calm and tranquil.

It's now been one year and four months since she left home. Once in a while, I think of her, and how she has impacted my life. I always strive to do the very best I can in school. I try to think before I speak so that I don’t hurt someone’s feelings, unintentionally. I may lie to spare someone's feelings, but not to deceive them. I am very comfortable with who I am, the friends I have made, and the goals that I have set for myself. My suspicions were right that I did not use my sister as my role model. Though I did use her as an example of someone that I did not want to be like. For that, I guess I could thank her. Even though my sister has been out of my life for quite a while now, she still has an impact on me. I find myself working twice as hard to prove to the teachers that know my sister, that I am nothing like her. The path of destruction she left for me to follow, is a difficult hurdle to overcome. However for that, I guess I could thank her once again, for making me a stronger, more ambitious, and caring individual.