The way I see it, I’ve learned more from pain than I could’ve ever learned from pleasure. There are tough moments in our lives that we go through, but in the end we just come out stronger and more thankful than ever. We never truly lose our loved ones. They don’t disappear from our lives. In fact, they are with us at all times, watching over us. Being our guardian angels.
  
   It was July 25th, 2012, around 2 o’clock in the afternoon. Mid-summer, and me and my friends were casually laying on the soft, squishy ottoman in the living room, talking for hours like usual. We had begun discussing my friend Chloe.
   “She’s such a strong girl, and she’s gonna kick cancers butt,” they assured me.
   They liked to feed me words of hope and assertion to try to keep my faith going, and though I adored them for doing so, it didn’t make things much easier. With Chloe being in a hospice, the chances of her surviving were exponentially becoming very slim.
   Suddenly, I got the urge that it was essential for me to make a call at that exact moment. I shot up off of the ottoman, adjusted my crinkled up shirt, and picked up my phone to dial the number. As the sound of the ringing annoyingly twirled in my ear, I grew impatient, and began rapidly tapping my foot in all different directions on the hardwood floor. This couldn’t wait any longer.
   Finally, I heard my Aunt Donna’s sweet, soft voice, “Hey Syd, what’s up?”
   “Nothin much, is there any way I could talk to Chloe? I really want her to know something,” I asked.
   “I dont think so sweetie. I’m sorry, but she’s just too weak to speak right now… I can tell her if you would like me too?”
   I hesitated a second, but then realized that that was my only option.
   “Um, yes, would you please let her know that everyone over here is praying for her, and that I really miss her and love her.”
   “Of course I will, thank you for calling, i’m sure it will mean a lot.”
  
   Later that night we were sitting on the bed while talking and laughing the night away, when I heard the loud buzzing sound of my phone that closely resembled a bee. I picked it up and saw that it was my mother who was trying to contact me. I had no idea what I was about to be told, and I sure wasn’t ready for it.
   “Hey mom, why are you calling?”
   “I’m so sorry Syd, we are all so upset right now. Aunt donna just called me. Chloe has passed away.”
   I paused. Unable to catch my breath, unable to process the information. My heart dropped into my stomach and the sensation of fear and helplessness flushed through me. I couldn’t speak, and for a few seconds I had almost forgotten how to breathe. I felt as if I was losing pieces of my life’s puzzle. Millions of emotions were running through me, yet I was still staring blankly at the bright pink carpet.
   No, this can’t be happening. I can’t lose Chloe. Those words rolled around in my mind.
   Lose Chloe.
   And then, it hit me. I had lost Chloe. My dear friend, the one who put a smile on my face just by the radiant sound of her laugh. The one who was always positive and loving and appreciative. Selfless, sweet and strong. The one I have so many memories with from up North, growing up. Making s’mores around the campfire as we shared stories, giggling as we danced around the kitchen while eating lemon Italian ice, splashing around the sandbar while watching fireworks on the 4th of July. Chloe was almost like family. She was one of the most genuinely happy people I have ever known.
   Just like that, she was gone.
   I suddenly felt a solitary tear trickle down my cheek. Then another, and another. One more thought of Chloe was enough to make me burst into sobs. It’s so unfair, how such bad things happen to such amazing people that are so undeserving of it.
   I could feel my heart breaking, and I could do nothing but close my eyes and cry.

  How could the sweetest girl in the world, the one who had so much more going for her in life, get diagnosed with stage 4 brain cancer and die only a year later at the age of 18?
One day, as my thoughts were traveling all over, I had an Epiphany. Maybe there is a reason for all of this. Maybe Chloe was special, and she was chosen for this battle, because she was the one who had enough strength to fight it. Maybe she deserved the better life in heaven than here on earth.
   Having to experience the loss of a loved one, especially one as amazing as Chloe, has truly changed my life and the way I view things. I was at war with myself for a while, but after being forced out of denial to the fact that she was gone, I recognized that there is no reason to think negatively all of the time just because one thing went wrong in life. I knew I would have to move forward, and I understand that there is a reason that everything happens, so it’s best to make light of all situations that I face in life. It’s made me realize that I need to enjoy the little things in life, because one day I will look back and realize that they were the big things.
   We never truly lose our loved ones. They don’t disappear from our lives. In fact, they are with us at all times, watching over us. Being our guardian angels. Heaven gained an angel that day, and I am so thankful to have known her. The cancer may have taken her life, but God has her soul.