Most of my life I have been sedentary for the duration of my vacations and summers. Daily experience consisted of eating, sleeping, and playing video games. I recall many nights in which I had stayed up extremely late playing video games. Even after I had collapsed to my bed, the games had emphatically embedded my subconscious with flashing images that lasted throughout the night. The next mornings I would wake up and suddenly delight in the fact that I could now get right back online and gratify myself with more gaming. I was addicted to video games. Playing online to me was like crack cocaine to a druggie. Looking back, I see these actions eventually formed in me a lazy character. It’s kind of like finances; you can spend your money on something frivolous and not suffer significant loss. But if you repeatedly spend your money on trivial things, you will lack the funds to get by and have developed a habit of having holes in your pockets. Similarly, I was unquestionably lazy. But fortunately one year Someone, who I now know as my God, started to do serious work in my heart; indeed, he brought me to a forthright knowledge of my sins, and graciously led me to put my trust in Jesus alone. Why? To be saved from His wrath and fair justice on my wrongdoing, to be saved from the grip of sin in my life, and to rest in Jesus as a child of God to pursue good and to be filled with love, joy, and peace. So, because this God, the One who made the universe, changed my heart, I now had a desire to destroy the various manifestations of selfishness that still inhabited my life. Because of that desire and some other arrangements He was making then (such as connections between my mom and a local car dealership), one summer God got me working a job -- my first real job.
The day I applied at the Chevrolet dealership, I think a part of me was nervous, even though my mom’s contact with the sales manager virtually sealed the deal. This was the first time I had ever been serious about applying for a job (and serious the job would become). I sat in the office of Mr. B, the sales manager (who sold my mom’s new car to her), while he asked me questions. I answered his questions and apprehensively tried to laugh as he jested. Speaking of his sense of humor, he even called my mom: ‘Hey Joy! Yeah, your son just stormed out of the front door!’ After a few seconds of suspense, he laughed, ‘I’m just kidding, he’s sitting right here in front of me.’ I believe I remember thinking to myself, ‘Maybe I should loosen up a bit: he doesn’t seem to be as serious as I am about this.’ I left feeling hopeful -- I think I remember hearing later from my mom that I impressed him. I still wonder if he really was as genuine as he appeared to be. A few weeks later, after making some important moves with my school and the company to enable me for work, I finally was ensured the job. I would be hired into the prep department, where I would clean and detail the new and used cars. I was scheduled to start the week after the last week of school. I had about three days left of vacation before I would start work. It appears to me now that those were the last three days of childhood vacation I’d ever have.
After about three days, I headed off to work wearing a well worn pair of jeans and a t-shirt and walked up before 9 o’clock in the morning. Mr. B greeted me and led me back to the body shop. This unfamiliar and industrious harbor would become like a second home to me over the next few months. I find it interesting how different it seemed back then. I see now my impressions of places slowly morph and gain new meaning in my mind over time. This also must mean I can be in the very same situation as someone else and still see it very differently. Nonetheless, I was introduced to the prep manager, Ken, and handed off to Chris, a worker in the shop, who would teach me the ins and outs of my new job. I remember thinking how this would be a fun new experience. I had no idea what to expect, but for now I just needed to wring out a wet chamois and dry off a freshly washed Chevrolet Equinox. Chris showed me how to do things like apply interior dressing and wax the paint finish. I made a few mistakes here and there, but I think they overlooked them because I was new. By the end of the first day I eagerly accepted a few extra hours of work. I was starting to like this new job. It was fun. I went home feeling mature and grown up. I was now working a grown up job -- I even had to do some paperwork! Overall I had good expectations for my future in this job. Somewhat true, but I was in store for some times of difficulty.
Throughout the first week I quickly adjusted to this new job. I learned a lot of techniques from Chris and I enjoyed his paternal attitude. I think the reason for the esteem I held for Chris may have something to do with the fact that my biological father didn’t play a large role in my life. I scarcely was taught how to do something ‘manly’, like working on a car. Chris taught me the whole process for detailing new deliveries. But still, I was happy when Ken ordered me to detail a white Malibu, ‘All by myself!’ I delightedly vacuumed and wiped down the interior and inside windows, but I couldn’t keep it to myself forever. I had to hand it off to Chris to take it out to the wash, because I didn’t have my license. I eventually met Cyler, who detailed cars by himself, and who intimidated me at first. I also met Paul, who detailed used cars customers currently owned, but he always had a mean look on his face. So I just kept to myself, save Chris.
Things were rolling smooth, but things didn’t stay nice for long. Each day I was growing more and more tired than the last. I lost the energy I once had and became sluggish when doing the current job at hand. It wasn’t long before Dylan, my amiable new manager, pulled me aside and politely asked me to “pick up the pace.” Over time, this phrase would become less and less polite, and I would soon grow to resent it, because I slowly realized how difficult it was for me to actually work faster. As the end of the month drew near the car flow got higher and higher and more and more work was being required of  me. I think I eventually just tried to avoid doing work in any way I could, because I was tired… and tired of failing. Every morning I was struggling to rush out into work. I would have to run instead of walking to work many times just to make it on time, and sometimes I would be a couple minutes late. I saw how in my life I always seemed to fail to control my time, so time would control me. This job me try all the harder.
One fateful day, I would have to ‘dig the pit’. I think on this day I was doing cars before I left for lunch. When I got back, they had pulled the drain cap off of the car wash. I was perturbed to find out I had to scoop out gross black stuff and put it in a bucket. So we equipped ourselves with shovels. It smelled worse than fecal matter. We went deeper and deeper in the drain to dig and had to get more and more knee-deep into the work -- I thank Christ it wasn’t literally. But nonetheless, just scraping by was not going to work for this one. For after we finished the first water drain we had to slowly pull off and dig the extending trough-like drain in the body shop. The muck here was even more old and nasty. I silently and obstinately asked myself why this stuff existed… and why it stunk so much. I realized, since I had done something very immoral not long before then, the sin I had committed ‘stunk’ infinitely worse to God’s metaphoric sense of smell than this grime did to mine. I then felt a weight of how merciful God had been to me, because He decided not to give me what I fairly deserved and decided to give me a wonderful future. In light of that, I knew I had to ‘tighten my belt’ and trudge on. That day seemed to intensify more and more to the point where I was fixedly knuckling down, sweating profusely, despising the part of me that wanted to give up and throwing my muscles forthwith into this dirty job. I was not the best at it, but by the grace and compassion of God I still applied myself, however perfect.
After that day I realized this job was more than just a summer job. I believe this job has affected my character tremendously; this job showed me what it means to work, what it means to apply myself. This was where I put down the child and pick up the man of life. By God’s grace, in Jesus alone, I am now more industrious and persistent. I don’t always make the best choices but I haven’t quit, because no matter how hard life gets, I know now God will always see me through. In my life I realize I need to earnestly represent myself as a hard worker, well-approved and blameless before God and men. Though every day in my job I always fell short of excellence, God kept me from losing sight by keeping my focus on what Jesus did for me: I’ve blessed by His excellence, not mine. God was able to work diligence in me when I died to my selfishness every day and gave myself to Him. Over time I sometimes doubted the benefit this job could give me; when new people got hired who divided friendships, when people I had become friends with quit, and when others I cared about moved to different departments, it was easy to get discouraged and want to give up. But I learned I had to work steadily where I was at. Even while writing this I see this has much greater implications than working at the dealership. This is event in my life leads me to see more and more of the all encompassing reality of the life I live now. There is work I must complete, there is a race I must finish, Christ has set it all out before me. There is no time for apathy. I can’t afford it. I need to ‘pick up the pace’ until I clock out, and as my co worker Paul always told me, “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” Sayings like these now have new meanings to me. Sometimes I just need to do what I need to do, without asking questions. Sometimes I need to turn off my analytical mind, face the right direction, and run. I know I will fall sometimes and lose hope; that’s nothing new. But by turning back to the God who can forgive me, cleanse me and equip me for success, I am able to make it through.
Eventually I began to realize this chapter in my life was coming to a close. Summer was ending, school was starting up again, and with it came all sorts of new challenging responsibilities. This job was for me the first step up the stairway to adulthood. My departure wasn’t real to me until the day I finally had resigned. I truly didn’t want to leave that body shop. Though this job was the thing at times I despised most about my life, it became one of the most valuable. I sentimentally said my goodbyes, and laughed as Dylan gave a clever remark regarding my departure. I said farewell to Chris one last time, and truthfully, the priceless words I heard from him that day still grip my heart with the priceless feeling of commendation: “Good hustle.”