In 4th grade, I was the “bully” of my school. I had a group of friends where I started, and I lead. Then came another girl, who kicked me off my throne and took my place. I realized I had no real friends because they really were just scared of me. It was a rough year since I would be alone all day. I became the victim. I started to look for distractions for me to take it off my mind. I knew I needed to change. People all over the world suffer from bullying. I think it has never occurred to me to believe in Karma, but it stopped that day. All I ever did was be a disrespectful friend who didn’t care about anybody else but myself. Then, when another girl came by. I knew what I had done and needed to pay for my mistakes. You could call it, the two years of intensive misery and guilt, trying to find a way for survival. There is always something that gives you the strength to go through the obstacles in life. Four years ago, I thought my world ended. I know there are still years ahead in my life, goals to accomplish, and dreams to become true, so giving up is never the answer. I was just hoping that light would shine through me some day.

 It was a chilly morning; I didn’t want to get out of bed. As soon as I realized it was time for my singing classes, I ran to my closet and put something on as fast as I could. I ran downstairs and took out a banana and started vocalizing. I started singing “Voy a reir, voy a bailar, vivir mi vida lalalala.” It is a very known Mexican song called Vivir Mi Vida by Marc Anthony. It is the only song that gets me throughout the day. Me and my music have a world of our own where magic happens. I am always trying to put pop songs that create a happy mood for me, and distract me from the real world. I walked out of my car and ran inside. This is the place where I can call home. I could see my teachers inside waiting for me. They all looked happy, which made me happy. The long red carpet on the floor, the big stereos on one side of the room, the sky blue ceiling, and the orange pastel painted walls made me take a big breath of happiness.. It all looked so perfect to me. My favorite teacher had her “Monday morning” t-shirt on which made it look she was not in a good mood.

She yelled “Balbina! Get in your place right now! you are already late!” I ran to my place on the floor and opened my book. As I sang the first word “If I wer/.” I immediately stopped singing and faced the floor. I saw a new girl walking straight to my direction and sitting next to me. I think I have never been that close to a stranger. I could feel the rush of being able to make a friend. I kept staring at her like she was an alien. She had long, thick, black hair. She was tall, and had a perfect body, not too skinny. Her eyes were as black as the shadow at night, and she had red lips by her bright red lipstick that she had in her hands. Her clothes gave me a clue for who she was; a little hipster, and a little elegant. She had blue capris jeans, with a black shirt with a woman with a lot of makeup, and shopping hands on both of her hands.

She looked at me and asked, “What is it? Is it my hair? I forgot to brush it today”. I started laughing and replied
“No, its just I am not used to having anyone around me, I kind of lost all of my friends.”

“Well, hi friend, I am Lily.” This was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

For the next 4 months, I got to get to know her. I learned all about her family, friends, boyfriends, and daily life problems. I started to open up to her little by little. It seemed like a dream come true. I learned she had 3 baby sisters, and she was the big sister that needed to be “mature” for all her sisters. She always came angry to class, “Oh my god! I so hate my sisters right now! They can be a really big piece of work sometimes.” I would always laugh because I would do anything in the world to have a conversation to my brothers and sister. Adding on, she loved nutella more than herself, I gave her a big jar for her birthday and she literally threw me to the floor with a bear hug. On the other hand, she met this boy that she really liked, the boy only wanted to take advantage of her, so Lily took like a week to realize he was not worth it. She would come to class angry, mad, disappointed, and a few times brave. I was learning how to be there for someone that needs me. Lily finally got over him, I had my first lesson completed.

She was the first real friend I have had in my whole life. Then came the day. It was a sunny Friday with a chilly wind. We had our singing class together, and she came up to me and asked, “So... There is a big party this weekend in a friends house, wanna come?” Her sassy childish voice made it sound unreal. My voice broke and I could only answer with a nod. She responded, “Oh great! I’ll send you all the details by text; hope to see you there! It’s gonna be the bomb.” There it was, the light. It glowed all over me. It dosed me off to a world with rainbows, unicorns, candy, and a chocolate rain fail. The perfect world, became the real world.

As I saw her leaving I yelled, “See you tomorrow!” I ran to my things and got out of there and into my car as soon as I can. I can’t believe I was invited to a party. I didn’t know what I was going to where, or how is my make up and hair were going to be? It was an important thing I needed to think through.

I got to my house and started throwing all of my clothes in piles, examining everything I had that would made me fit in with her friends that would become my future friends. The tears starting catching up with my cheeks, the desperation grew by the second, realizing I had nothing to wear. My mom saw my door opened and peaked through to see what I was doing. She looked at me with pity and came over to hug me. She said,

“Oh my beautiful girl, this is just the beginning of the many parties you will have, let’s go buy you a dress.” My frown turned upside down and got to the car rapidly. There has been a dress I have always wanted; now it was time for it to be mine.

The mall was like a cloud; beautiful and dreamy. I could see all of the stores waving at me to come buy clothes. The sound of the cashier opening, the machine beeping detecting clothes, the sound of bags moving, it all was too perfect. I went down to a store called Bershka. As I entered the light orange store, with white silvery tiles, and creative drawings all over the walls, I saw my ex friends on one side of the store. This dream come true was becoming a disaster. The image at me at school really brought me to the floor, the strength poured out of me like coffee on a shirt. I crawled over to the corner and started moaning. My mom came and sat next to me, she started telling me the typical mother daughter things. “Oh come on honey, don’t let them get to you, you are way stronger and deserve friends who truly love you for who you are, like Lily.”

“Mom, don’t talk about Lily right now,” I commanded.

“Maybe you should go talk to her,” suggested my Mom.
“Yeah, why not, since I know where she lives” I responded sarcastically.

“But she is right there, look” she said. I saw her standing there looking at a beautiful hot pink dress with white glitters all over the skirt, and red glitter all over the front V-neck. I stood up and walked behind all of the racked clothes so my ex friends wouldn’t see me. I got to Lily and tapped her on the shoulder.

“OMG YOU SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF ME!” she yelled. I started laughing and as I hugged her, I saw my ex friends looking at me. I started to sweat and my face turned red and pale. The nervousness inside of me was duplicating by the second.

“Hi lily, how are you, I am very nervous because my ex friends are here, I don’t know what to do or what to respond, just act normal and they’ll just ignore, I think, I wa/.” I was cut off by her tight grip on my shoulder. She said,

“Okay relaaaax, listen to my voice, let’s just go outside and talk about this.” As I went outside, the imposer came to Lily,

“Oh what a pleasure to meet you, I am Paloma, do you need me to save you from this monster?” She asked disrespectfully. I could feel the anger rushing inside of Lily.

She clenched her teeth and responded “Look at me you brat, she is more than you will ever have, she is the most outstanding and creative friend I have ever had and you will never have. Just do us a favor and get out of our sight this instant before I kick you.” She turned around and walked rapidly back to her friends and left us alone. It was that moment; I knew the perfect day was just starting.

There once was a little girl in a book, where she would struggle the same as me, but she had no one to ask for help, or be there to protect her. She would say, “Please leave me alone, I have too much to worry at home, this is too much.” All of the girls would just look at her and start laughing, they would say,
“You looser, please just do us a favor and kill yourself.” She got too angry and she got defeated. She brought a gun to school, and killed all of bullies. This story got me thinking of how I can end up. Books and stories like this make people realize that what they are doing is wrong, but they don’t learn until it happens to them. I’ve been there, and it’s dreadful.

A few minutes later, we got outside and sat down on the bench, “Oh honey, they are just as scared as you, but they need to pour it on someone else.” said Lily in her lovely voice.

“But I hate how it doesn’t stop, how will it ever stop?” I asked
“You just need to have the enough strength so it doesn’t bother you, it will let them know you don’t care anymore, and they will stop. I promise you,” She responded. It has never run through my mind that there will be someone to help me. I always knew I was going to fight this battle alone. For a person with a low self-esteem, little things like what Lily said to me, means the world. Strength can grow, but also pass over to others. Lily always had a bucket list; to impact on someone’s life, help him or her become a better person. What she did for me was a gigantic check. The little things in life always matter.

The party was today. I woke up listening to “Niagara en Bicicleta” and looking at the purplish, pinkish ceiling, with glow-in-the-dark stars. The dream come true has come today. I realized dreams do come true. I got out of my lemon green, soft sheets into the grayish marble floor. It was cold. I got out of my clothes and got into the shower. I kept singing and dancing inside the shower. “No me digas que los medicos se fueron, ooh, no me digas que no tienes anestecia, ooh, no me digas que el alcohol se lo bebieron, ooh, y que hilo de coser fue bordado en un mantel.” Even my mom was starting to be happy for me. The person I have become because of the strength Lily gave to me made a difference. It always bothered me if others were talking about me behind my back, now I don’t really care. Also, feeling hurt is a waste of time since there is too much to live for. She would always quote while saying inspiring things like “Oh look at this one I found yesterday, “Strength doesn’t come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn’t.”’ Those words makes you think that you’re not the only one in the world suffering like you, and that people that are alone, are alone together.

I got out of the shower and started by putting on my makeup. I needed to cover my pimples in order to don’t scare the boys away. I was just starting to learn so I think I looked worse. I asked my sister to help me, since she was also happy for me. I started to straighten my hair, I think I burned my ear since it was red when I finished. The flashing lights were making me blind, and the slippery floor, made me slip 3 times with the water all over the floor. Even my blue, rough, hand towel, didn’t sweep all the water. Finally, It was 6 o’clock and I was downstairs waiting for my mom. Lily had already called me three times and left one voicemail, “Okay gurl, where the heck are you? We are getting there at 6 o’clock, so you better be there, see ya.” I was thinking of all the excuses my mom had for being late. She finally got here and took me to the party. I was so nervous I thought I smelled like pig and that my breath stinks. My body shaking made the whole car shake, my mom was really freaking out. I wanted to go back and watch a movie, I was not ready for this. We got there in the next few minutes.

“Well... This is it, come on honey, little should be waiting inside.” My mom said.
“Well okay...” I responded with a low voice. I got out of my car and saw the reflecting lights on the windshield of the car. They were all kinds of colors, rushing everywhere without a stop. I got out of the car and ran to my friends. I could see Lily standing in her straight light blue dress, talking to her friends and laughing. This night was a night to remember. The music changed me to party mode. The place was full of future friends, which were dancing and singing in the dance floor. The snack bar was calling me. It was not that bad after all.

One semester ago, I would stay in my house watching TV and feeling sorry about myself, and wanting to end my life, a life that no one would remember. All of the miseries made me do things I now know are absurd. I never took in consideration that “One person can make a difference” would be true. I knew that what happened to me, needed to happen on someone else too. I am still trying to do today, in making a difference and changing someone’s life by saving them from unimaginable mistakes. This story starts from making you feel wanted, and loved. Being able to fit in, believe who you are right now is what matters. I got to learn a lot about Lily and how she would always include me with her friends and I got to meet many great friends I have today. She didn’t have to say a word to make me feel that way; she just did with her big heart and friendliness. Also, many people all around the world suffered the same I did, and some people don’t get to meet the person that will change their life. This impacted my life in many ways that has made me a determined, brave, kind, and a caring person. I hope I get to be the person to someone else that Lily was for me.