Loss makes you become a different person, whether you want to change or not.  As my brother and I were getting ready for our practices, my mother tells us to get in the car as normal.  That was the last time I would leave my house before my whole world turned upside down.  “You guys  are gonna stay with Mr. Brian for a bit” my mom says. Mr. Brian is a close family friend, that my parents have known before I was born.  We start constantly asking “Why, what’s going on?”  We finally arrive at his house and my mother quickly leaves.  Hours go by and she hasn’t answered my texts asking “Where are you? ” I quickly began to get worried thinking about what was going on. My parents never had a very good relationship. My dad hasn’t been home a lot the last six months very much. Maybe something happened to him. I normally don’t see Mr. Brian unless something is really wrong, or my parents are thinking about housing arrangements.  My mother finally comes to pick us back up. “Get in the car,” my Mom says. I quickly gather my things and my brother and we get in the car. We are sitting for a good 20 minutes as my Mom debriefs Mr. Brian on what happened. It was a quiet car ride home. We get home  “Come to my room.” My mom says to my brother and I. My Dad is no where in sight. My mom goes on telling us how they are finally getting divorced. I wouldn’t be able to see my dad for a while because of the threats he made toward us. Listening to my mother telling us about what happened tonight I felt bad that she put up with it for so many years. And the whole reason was because of me brother and I.

I always use to be a daddy’s girl when I was younger, but as I grew up my dad and I never got along. Going with him to work, staying with him at the office. Even going with him across the country whenever he needed to travel. We would occasionally go on daddy and daughter dates; to our favorite restaurant downtown. This cutest little place that sold authentic Nigerian food. This was when I was happiest. It seemed as if nothing could go wrong. It was my Dad and I against the world.  The divorce only made things worse.    

I didn’t see my Dad for months, and within those months a new side of him came out. It was a side I have never seen before, and wish I never have to see again. The night I lost my Dad in my life, I lost the one man in my life I could always count on. Since I’ve lost my Dad I have learned that at the end of the day the only person there will be you. I made the choice to take a break from my parents and the drama. I left the country for a month and took time out to get myself back together. Make yourself happy and do what’s right for you at the time.That’s exactly what I did. The problem for me was I always wanted to make everyone else happy. Since I made the choice to make me happier anything life has thrown at me I have been able to handle. You never know when your whole world will change. But when it does you need to be able to say you're happy with how your life is going so far. To be able to step back look at everything you have done, and say “Yep, that’s me right there.” At this point in time I’m looking back and saying I made the right choice for me. That’s the most important thing I have gotten out of the divorce.The only thing I truly needed. Peace; closure; and happiness.

Loss makes you become a different person,whether you want to change or not. Change isn’t always such a bad thing.