Moving on and letting go is one of the hardest things for an almost teenage girl; most twelve year old girls have their minds on boy bands and that really cute eighth grader that will probably never talk to you, but that wasn’t me. I was a twelve year old with a disorder called depression. You all have probably heard of it and are thinking she is probably making this up, but I wasn’t, it was and still is a part of me.  You might think I’m messed up and a little crazy, which you are right, but I have my reasons I am the way I am. Before I moved to LaPorte City, I had thoughts of suicide and bad thoughts about myself. It is weird to think how far I have come. I was bullied and not happy, and I’m not about to make this a negative vibe, because that isn’t me. I am going to share about the day I became happy and freed from my fears.

It was 6:45A.M. in the humid but cool April 3rd morning air and my mind was racing like crazy. I was freaking out, it was my first day at my new middle school. I put on my favorite yoga pants and a pink and grey striped shirt, along with my colorful DC high tops. I took a sip of my bright red cool gatorade; then I was out the door with my Hello Kitty nerd bag in hand. My mom was as nervous as I was, and we had finally found the high school as I was trying not to cry. I found my bus and was so nervous, my depression got the best of me and started flooding my mind. What if people didn’t like me, thought I was annoying or I wasn’t good enough? So, I just sat there on the bus with my phone in hand and headphones on. I remember a lot of people were asking me questions, like where was I from or if I have siblings. I just kinda stayed quiet until the bus pulled up to school. It was a bigish school, but small. I went into the office and got my schedule from one of the nicest people I have ever met, the secretary, Judy. I walked with Judy and saw boring yellow walls filled with pictures and those cheesy posters that try and make you feel better about yourself. Judy then introduced me to a nice, short blonde girl named Brittany. Brittany and I kind of clashed at the start but ended up good friends. I was then introduced to a tall, sweet, red headed girl named Kass. Kass and I bonded over our love for singing, boy bands, and food. I then met one person who has been through hell and back with me, and her very first words to me, and I quote, “Hi! I’m Tajia, and I like fried chicken and One Direction.” You wouldn’t think those words changed me but they did, they did because I knew I would fit in just fine. I actually found out that we were going on a field trip the first day I started at my new school. We went to Hawkeye Community college and I got to get to know a lot more people. Brittany then asked me one of the questions I had been dreading the whole time, “Why did you move?”

I wasn’t sure how to respond, I mean I just met the blonde girl a few hours before the question that terrified me, so I responded with the answer I could come up with, “My parents wanted a new start, I guess.”

In reality the reason we moved is because of depression and bullying. I was just scared I would get made fun of here and it would be just like my old school. I then got a hug from the short blonde girl and she said, “It’ll be okay here.”

She was so right, my school is now a part of me, I will always be grateful for the day I walked on the old musty smelling yellow bus. Believe it or not it was and still is a part of me. I love the happiness I feel as I walk through the doors every morning. I moved on knowing that I might not be okay. I let go of all the bad memories I had from my old school, and let the good ones flood my mind. I think a lot about where I would be if I wasn’t at my school, all I know is that it wouldn’t be good. The person that I am now in one hundred times better than what I was two years ago. It still brings me to tears because I never thought I would come this far and it is all because of five simple words that a short blonde girl told me, “It will be okay here.”