Sometimes I wonder why i lie to others when they ask if I'm ok.

I wonder why I lie to myself.

Then I remember that I am always the strong one. I am the one my family and friends lean on when they are going through emotional days and I am not allowed to break down; I have to keep going.

But the truth is, I do lie. I lie when i say I'm fine; that I'm ok, and everytime I lie a little piece of myself crumbles. No matter how much I tell myself that I am fine and to keep going i know that I am not but I can't bring myself to admit it to the one person that really matters: me.

Then I am at an impasse because I hardly ever think of myself. I am always thinking about my friends, my brother, and sister, then mom and dad. I always consider their interests before I make any big decisions. What would they think? How would they react? What can I do to help them?

I think that is, or will, be my downfall.