“Smile honey!” said the nice women in a pink and purple sundress.

I smiled from cheek to cheek, holding up my number, not even thinking about what is yet to come.  I see my mom standing behind the women looking nervously ecstatic and this made me come to a realization.  Was I really standing in front of a camera for a modeling opportunity, or was the smell of all the hairspray just getting to my head?

   My family and I love New Hampshire.  One of our favorite destinations is a place called Meredith Center.  The hustle and bustle of this wonderful place isn’t the best part.  We also marvel at the view of the glistening lake.  There is a hotel in Meredith Center called Church Landing that my parents were always so interested in because it looks over the water and it is just glorious inside.  A long time ago, there used to be mills surrounding an actual church that stood in the hotel’s place, so it has a very authentic feel to it.  During our visit to Noni’s condo one year when me and Michael were about 6 and 7 years old, we spent a day visiting the shops and having some ice cream in Meredith Center.  My mother and father had built up a big expectation of how beautiful the Church Landing hotel was, so we went inside and just walked around to look at its beauty.  I remember seeing the hotel and it seeming like it was more crowded then it should be.  We stumble upon a ball room in the hotel filled with thousands of girls from my age, to about 16 years old wearing ball gowns, magnificent makeup, and hair all done up.  They also each had a number pinned onto their chests.  Not thinking anything of it, my mother asks a women sitting behind a counter what all of the commotion was about.  The nice woman responded with saying that it is for a modeling opportunity for an issue in an L.L. Bean catalog and then she asked my mother if we were here to sign up for the open photo shoot.  Seeing all of the other beautiful girls, I was greatly intimidated.  I spotted large, pink ball gowns and could smell the hair spray acting as glue in bouncing curls.  Makeup all done up for one picture that could change a girl’s life.  And then there was me.  I was sporting a small braid in my hair accompanied with a pink tank top purchased at the clothing store Justice, alone with my Bermuda cut off shorts.  Oh, and don’t forget my rhinestone flip flops that I thought were the coolest things ever. 

When the lovely yet intimidating women behind the desk handed me my number and told me to step into line with the other girls, my stomach dropped.  All I could hear in my head was a girl turning around and saying “You don’t belong here.”  Having built up enough courage, I stepped into line smelling of sweat and ice cream, as the others smelled of perfume.  Bobby pins versus my braid went face to face in front of the camera. 

About a month later, my mom picked up the phone and thinking nothing of it, I went on with whatever I was doing.  I could hear her from the other room in an enthusiastic tone saying things along the lines of, “Really? Wow thank you so much! Yes, I will tell her right now, thank you again.”  Once this eager phone call ended, my mom broke the news to me.  She explained to me that there were many other girls who they were considering for the opportunity to be featured in L.L. Bean magazine.  Me, one of 1000 other girls was being considered.  My mother also explained that there would be many phone calls to come as they would be eliminating some of the candidates.  Me, one of 500 other girls.  Me, one of 30 other girls.  Me, one of 10 other girls.  Me. 

The final call was from the agent who we have been staying in touch with throughout their whole elimination process.  I do not even remember being told that I was chosen from 1000 others to go back up to New Hampshire and model.  The next thing I remember, after my whole neighborhood most-likely lost hearing from my deafening scream, was arriving at Squam Lake and being shown to the hair and makeup trailer.  I saw many people when entering this house-like trailer who looked very friendly and welcoming.  Bright studio lights lit up the makeup station which looked like it had a seat just for me.  The smell of fancy fruit salad with mint leaves tossed within and gourmet turkey sandwiches caught my attention.  Again, I had a feeling at the pit of my stomach, a feeling like I did not belong at this photo shoot.  My whole family there to support me and all of us in awe made me even more uncomfortable because I looked around at professional models that were in their comfort zone.  I was completely out of my comfort zone, but I knew that this was a great opportunity, and also it was going to be a great story to tell back in Wilmington! 

Out of the dressing room I strut in my first outfit for the shoot.  I was wearing white pajamas with little rainbow hearts scattered around them.  Having gotten closer to my stylish/makeup artist/hair stylish for the shoot, I nonchalantly asked her, “Can I please keep these pajamas!  I want something to remember this by and they are so cute!  All of my friends will be jealous.”

“No, I’m sorry sweetie but we need these.”

Disappointed, I headed where I was supposed to be present next.  It was time for me to meet my fake mom for the shoot!  Don’t get me wrong, she was a beautiful woman, but this lady absolutely looked nothing like me.  Ren hair, fair skin, slight freckles on her nose and cheeks were present also.  I went along with it and pretended like nothing was awkward.  I think my fake mom could tell I was nervous because she started asking me all sorts of questions about me to adapt me to the environment more.  With sweaty palms and shaking hands, ‘mom’ and I got into our spots for the first set of pictures.  “So, Jackie, when’s your birthday?” my fake mother asks.

“October 8th.”  I said nervously, not expecting the question.  “I am going to be 9 years old!”

“Wow! That’s awesome!  You must have a fun birthday since it is near Halloween.”  I replied and we talked, me, distracted with how the photographers were positioning us.  I also remember a nice man telling me to hug my knees and look at the ‘mom’ once more, and before I knew it, the shoot was over.  My family was not allowed in the cabin that the pictures were being taken in, but as soon as they were done, I walked out, still trembling.  We all walked back to the dressing room together, for the next outfit.  The next set of photos was of just me in a different outfit, posing on a dock.  These pictures did not get put into the magazine though. 

I was sad to see the shoot end, and I especially did not want to part with my pajamas from the first set of photos.  Once we were told it was okay to leave, I knew there were going to be a long drive home ahead and a long talk ahead as well.  During the time that I was given this opportunity, I was a cheerleader for Pop Warner Football, and I really enjoyed it.  Many of my friends cheered with me, and it was just such an exciting time in my life. My parents and I agreed that when I signed up for cheering, it was going to be a huge commitment in my life. I also was on a soccer team at this time, which was definitely a large commitment.  This experience of me getting to be in a magazine was amazing as well, so I was in a dilemma.

When the phone rang, and I got called back to do another shoot, I think my parents and I knew that I was going to get more and more successful in this modeling career.  We finally came to a conclusion to end the modeling, and continue on with my Wilmington town commitments.  Although at the time I was content with this decision, present day I always wonder what could have been.