“Is he ok!”
“No.” my brother replies in a monotone.
“Is he ok!” Unwilling to accept my brothers answer, I ask again.
“No.” It was the answer I dreaded.

  A stream of tears start rolling down my face as my heart shatters into thousands of pieces. I wasn’t ready, I was only eight, young and innocent.

“*Gasp*” I watched my Superhero, my idol, my father takes his the last breath he’ll ever breathe. My mother holds me and my brother, our final moments as a complete family are rapidly coming to a close. As I watch the man who gave me life, lose his own. In that everlasting moment I realize my father’s troubles and pain are over, but mine are just starting. As the morning sunlight beams through the window comes towards me, sleepless as I spent the night crying, my face looking and feeling like a parking lot that spent the night being pelted by the rain. Opening my bedroom door, a single rose lays in my father’s place, as if his love is still physically on this Earth with us..

As I look back at my whole experience, my Dad's diagnosis of ALS, a nervous system disease that weakens muscles and impacts physical function, and his passing in a whole has made me stronger. I had been broken and healed, like a healed bone in my body, I am stronger. My Dad’s passing also made me realize how thankful I really am and I thank my Superhero for every damn second of life he has given me. But Robin would have to move on without batman, I think the most important lesson I’ve learned is that life isn’t fair, life isn’t what you want it, it’s what you make it. In order for me to have what I want in life, I have to play this s***ty card I am given and play it, play the card like I played football from the age of nine to fourteen.

“Can I play football mom?”
“Yes.”

My eyes wide as if I were puss in boots. Who knew, a kid that lost his dad the year prior would play football, even if my dad wasn't there to look over me. I could have spent those years as a hood rat. I may not have seen my father in nine years but I have a passion for cars and want nothing more than to work in the auto industry, I must have inherited this passion. Not having my dad there for me to teach me his skills wasn’t an option, so I took what little I knew from youtube and entered myself in an auto class this year. I now know for a fact the auto industry is my calling.

My father was our family's sole provider, my stay at home mother doesn’t understand the concepts to be a good provider. When I turned sixteen in October of 2014, my mom stopped receiving money from the government so she could raise me. In the seven and a half years to get an education and job my mom spent three years doing nothing to benefit the family, after two years in the nursing program she had dropped out. She later decided to go into phlebotomy, she had finished the phlebotomy program and was offered a job. She wasn’t accepted for private reason, she quit phlebotomy and now is a part time dental office receptionist. I love my mom with all my heart, but I’ve realized she is a lazy human being that doesn’t want to do anything to improve her life or mine, so I did it myself. Two years prior to this realization I started working because one day I’ll be a provider. When I’m thirty-five with kids, a wife and a mortgage, a part time at a dental office isn’t going to cut it.

It takes a strong leader to raise a family. This leader needs to be strong and lead as a great example. By the time I was sixteen I had  a car with insurance and maintenance to pay, one job wasn’t enough. So in the spring of 2015, I started my second job at ACE Hardware. To become a good strong leader many skills are involved, like paying my bills on time, having enough income to cover random expenses and being a good example for others. I’m a great example to my friends, they look at me like I’m the man, who knew that having two jobs at sixteen would do such a thing. My insurance gets paid on time and when my car needs work it doesn’t take long to fix because I can afford to fix my car before it breaks down. To be a strong leader one needs to take a serious situation and take care of it effectively and at take care of the situation at the right pace.

Summer of 2015, the day was colorful. Driving down the street I look past the neighbors houses at the light bouncing off the lake. Under further inspection my neighbor lies on the hot steaming concrete bleeding from the back of her head. My eyes widen, pulse sky rockets, I run to her.

“Are you Ok!?” no response, I run closer pulling out my phone.
“911 please state your emergency.”
“My neighbor she, she fell on her back in the driveway and is unconscious and bleeding from the back of her head. My address is 1234 Ennismore DR.”
“Is that your address or your neighbors?”
“My address, I’m next door.
“What’s her address?”
“I don’t know, it isn’t irrelevant!”

Her question angers me, why does it matter and why would the phone operator waste time like that. Pondering on that thought makes me more angry.

“Noah, Go get my neighbor she’s a nurse.” He stands there and looks at me like I asked him to solve a quadratic function.
“Go!” I yell at the idiot in hopes he would help, he starts walking. Still applying pressure to the back of her head, sirens start getting loader and loader.
“She’s not home”
“Go to the back of her house and ask for Maria she’s her landlord.”

my head rushing with thousand of ideas that could be done to help the situation. Maria runs out with tears shooting down her face, my face was dry, focused. Finally the sirens are at the end of the driveway and my job is done. As the EMT does their job I ponder in thought of What if Noah was in my spot? Would my neighbor have died that day, knowing his fear of blood my idea was probably correct.

As I look back my life could have been so much different if I would have acted differently. If my mom didn't stress respect and attitude as much as she did, she couldn’t support a child, but like an elevator my mom was good at raising a child. I could have not listened to my mother at all and got started into bad habits that could have landed me in jail. I could have been a dropout, screw up, criminal or I could be living a life I hate, instead of the life I love. But now I am just a kid who has been broken down and built back up and now stronger.